And from this right into kung fu. Peter Sellers on Bowie’s Low. Trance. But really what we have here is excellent counterpoint. Lunatic Harness. Polyrhythms. Album breaks down soon. Fast. Abruptly. Mental block regarding Wuhan origin. Harmonic outline you would never find in China. Terry Riley. A Rainbow in Curved Air. Eno. Visconti. And the others involved. A beauty that inspired Philip Glass. This is what we have. Low and heroes. Symphonies. Glass. Riley. Minimalism. Album called zenith. Track two already hits “Nadir”. What’s the arc here? Arc-en-ciel? Arkansas? Immediately pensive. Very unnerving. Pop rock track. Into existential oblivion. Abrupt modulation. Uncomfortable. Eccentric. Was there a thought process behind this? Commerce ruins everything. Imperfect masterpieces. The rules of the game. Radiohead. Joseph Arthur? Sparklehorse. The Magnetic Fields. Gay baritone. Sad sack confessional poetry in the world of Berryman’s Dream Songs. Brian Jonestown Massacre. The Verve. Strung out in heaven. J. Spaceman shooting up while praying. Don’t knock it… Drug addiction is real. Mental problems are real. Here we are. 2020 fucked us up. And now we wait for the next shoe to drop. Smashing Pumpkins. “Silver Fuck”? Into Sonny Rollins? Epstein. Gene Ammons. Hard to tell it’s (not) real. Which parts? Yes. No. Fooling the ear with Dave Fridmann. A totally schizophrenic record so far. Here we go! “Belgian Lace, Pale Black Mascara…” This is more like it. Rollerskate Skinny. Martin Rev. Lots of counterpoint here. Fux me up. Disney xylophones. Internal rhyme-sanity. Dylan puking up brilliance. Always Roger Waters with the bass. Always The Wall. Pompeii. Hail to the Thief. Again and again. Trying to break new ground. And it does. Yerself is Steam. Album starts to make sense after five tracks. 1 & 5. This is not bullshit. I don’t know about the jazz. I don’t know about the monotonous instrumentals. Absolutely “Car Wash Hair”. Suzanne Thorpe would be proud. Seems to be talking about tits. A good ride. Drum machine chugging away. Can still have a good groove. Wild Acoustic Chamber Orchestra. W.A.C.O. Woodwinds and glockenspiel. Boces. What the fuck is this shit? O.K. computer. Sounds like some QAnon stuff. I feel Carlos Santana coming on. This is what Assange jams out to. Lots of plays at Fort Meade. Salsa. James Brown. Puerto Rican funk. As AOC goes to jail. Serious national security issues for lyrics. Fictional charges? Tracers everywhere. This theory involves an actual conspiracy. Criminal conspiracy outlined. By players. Event 201. Short circuit. Johnny 5 is alive. Legalistic funk. QAnon wet dream. FISAgate. “Spy Gate”. Somebody send this to Sean Hannity. Obamagate. Where is John Durham? Ryan Dark White knows the truth about Rosenstein. How many coup attempts by the Left? Back to Billy Corgan. Ok, so we have an Alex Jones connection. Early-’90s goodness. Butch Vig. Dream pop. James Iha. Bet this guy knows the real story about the Standard Hotel(s). Great lyrics! Must be some inside jokes here. But HOLY FUCK! He nailed the “Holes” trumpet solo. Deserter’s Songs. God damn it. How did they do this? The liner notes say Pauly Deathwish has also produced all four of these albums. Kind of a Jimmy Page thing going on. Great drum sound. Yo La Tengo. “Mayonnaise”. Siamese Dream. Benjamin Britten reference? Slick! So this guy basically had a music education on par with Jack Nitzsche. And then went for scumbag rockroll like Phil Spector. Gotta respect this weird marriage. This fascination with grunge. Dinge. And the facility to clean it up like a chandelier. Very fucking impressive. No record label. Kinda sounds like no funding. No budget. The Delgados. Hate. The Great Eastern. More Spiritualized telephony. The Wall. Which is to say, Bob Erzin. And as dark as Berlin. Which is to say, Bob Ezrin. Neil Young vibe. Tonight’s the Night. Some dark-ass shit. Nick Kent, where y@t? IV Thieves. Coulda done this. What if Chris “Frenchie” Smith had produced this? This kid like a protege. I hear the moniker (stage name) was bestowed by Frenchie Smith. Strings good. Eastern European orchestra. Must have cost a small fortune. Arcade Fire. French cinema. Romantic-era harmony. But pierced. Sophisticated. Absolutely Floyd. “In The Flesh”. Last track on Harvest. Words between the lines. The promise of the ’60s went to shit in the ’70s. Where’s QAnon? Where’s Nakasone? Where’s CYBERCOM? Keith Alexander on Amazon board. Velvet Underground feeding back. Les Rallizes Denudes. Primal Scream. “Swastika Eyes”. ADAT. DAT machine. Sampling. Stereolab. Back to another standout track. “Chaconne”. Will Smith in the summertime. Some slick shit. Messiaen. Jonny Greenwood. Lyrics world-class. All those sand paintings. Write and destroy. Suicide girls. Thom Yorke’s brain doesn’t have this facility. He’s a great stylist. Definitely an homage. And to Godard. Snow white and psycho. Heavy shit for Laetitia Sadier and Tim Gane to check out. Not far from Faust IV. So sweet. John Paul Jones. Ramble on. Charlotte Gainsbourg. Keren Ann. Last track noisy as fuck. Lo-fi. Tom Waits. Sticks together. Some sad shit. Music from Big Pink. Mournful trombone(s). John Simon. “Bird on a Wire”. They don’t make records like this anymore. David Bowie not dead. Great phrasing. Sinatra. Mark Linkous. It’s a Wonderful Life. Believable bass. Upright citizen. Bayou curious. Noise floor drops out. Some perverse humor here. An “album”. It is. Ten songs. Ten different directions. Some tracks stick together. Like a deck of cards shuffled. Lots of variety. Circus peanuts. The orange ones. Pure sugar. Chewy. Strange texture. Lots of melancholy here. What’s this bloke so sad about? Tell Thurston Moore. You gotta hear this shit. Pauly Deathwish’s 4th album (this summer!). Is this guy trying to set a Guinness record or something? And he already has a 5th one out. Christ!
“John Brennan on Thursday recalled being asked a standard question for a top security clearance at his early CIA lie detector test: Have you ever worked with or for a group that was dedicated to overthrowing the US?”
The CDC declared war on the psyches of Americans when it started counting probable cases of coronavirus and probable deaths resulting from COVID as ACTUAL cases and ACTUAL deaths attributable to COVID-19.
CNN declared war on Donald Trump and waged this war for four-straight years by way of merciless propaganda.
In 1980, an anonymous group erected a mysterious stone structure in the United States which prioritized their stated desires starting thusly: “Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature.”
[the world’s population at the time was 4.43 billion (meaning that this anonymous group thought there were about 4 billion excess humans on the planet)]
In 1910, seven men met in utmost secrecy just off the coast of the United States on Jekyll Island to plan what would become the Federal Reserve System.
Jayne Mansfield was, in all likelihood, a Satanist.
She died when the car in which she was traveling crashed into the back of a tractor-trailer just east of New Orleans.
Did Hitler have tinnitus?
20 July plot.
Could we call those Nazis heroes?
They tried to assassinate Hitler with plastic explosives.
But they fucked up his ears.
Kevin Spacey embodies evil in this film (and some might say, in real life).
I avoided watching this film for a long time…strictly because Spacey was in it.
It is well known that he took a trip to Africa aboard Jeffrey Epstein’s “Lolita Express”.
Sexual assault charges have been filed against Spacey by multiple people.
And multiple accusers have subsequently died.
If there is such a thing as the New World Order (some might just call it the Bilderberg Meetings), then Kevin Spacey might well be the most thoroughly-connected Hollywood actor.
It’s just a hunch.
But one thing is certain: Kevin Spacey possesses an amazing thespian talent.
Which brings us to another point.
Do we have to approve of the lifestyles of artists?
Not necessarily so.
I love Pablo Picasso’s work.
I don’t judge his work based on the details of his life.
So I am somewhat remiss to say: Kevin Spacey is brilliant in this film.
And if he be evil in real life, then he had no problem channeling that force for this role.
For he is, undoubtedly, the villain.
And yet, he is human.
There is shading.
Like a Dostoyevsky character.
No one is completely good.
And no one is completely bad.
Which brings us back to war.
We must respect our enemies.
If they indeed demand our respect.
If the Central Intelligence Agency was to have a primary asset in Hollywood, that asset might very well be Kevin Spacey.
Again, just a hunch.
And so we can appreciate brilliance.
Brilliance in conception.
Brilliance in execution.
There are many battlefields.
Many geometric planes on which to do battle.
Kevin Spacey is an infinitely-talented actor.
It is almost scary how deft he truly is.
This movie may have saved my romantic relationship.
On again after four hellish days of arguments.
Because music saves us.
And we make music.
There is a connection which no one can get at.
Our DNA is musical.
Thinking back to Jayne’s measurements.
And songs I’ve written.
A timely shock of hair.
Thank you for your service.
Few industries are as sick and corrupt as the acting and music industries.
I know the latter firsthand.
There’s no such thing as a former KGB man.
When life was carefree in Austin, Texas.
Before Antifa ruined it.
Anything was possible.
Potential bursting from every moment.
A sensual heaviness to the air.
The 2020 election was stolen.
And Georgia was centerstage.
Ruby Freeman got caught.
And (apparently) paid no price.
But this travesty gave us at least one American hero: Lin Wood.
And now L. Lin Wood stands as one of the few remaining beacons in the darkness which has settled over America.
But there were other heroes.
Like Jesse Morgan.
What happened to his truck-full of ballots that he transported from Bethpage, New York to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania?
His truck disappeared.
The 2020 election was a heist of the most grand proportions.
Analog, digital…you name it.
Ask Phill Kline what happened to that truck.
Ask Anthony Shaffer.
The Amistad Project tried to preserve “one person, one vote” in America.
So far, not a single court in the land (post-election) has had the guts to look at the evidence.
And the evidence is embarrassingly-copious.
Jamie Foxx is excellent in this film.
Don’t underestimate the thug.
Street smarts and book smarts differ.
The latter can earn you a living.
The former can keep you alive.
Staying alive in the world of crime and secrecy (a deadly combination) is no small feat.
Especially when the stakes are high.
For criminals, cops are bad.
Unless the cops are corrupt.
In which case, the cops may very well be working to supply the criminals (among other things).
Which makes me think of the highly-questionable Eric Holder.
And the genre this movie emerges from.
A franchise and a genre.
Fast and furious.
We are the scum that keep it alive.
We are the 7 billion people who will not make the cut alluded to in the Georgia Guidestones.
But romance continues in war.
As love is more desperate.
And each moment savored more so.
A morsel here.
We get bold.
Nerds of the world.
Yes, we have no bananas.
Just writing songs.
A potential deserter.
Every man has his breaking point.
Ansel Elgort is also brilliant in this film.
Edgar Wright may be the most important film director working in the world today.
This film is a masterpiece.
The problem is (and it’s hardly a problem), all his films are masterpieces.
I watch them repeatedly.
Wright is truly an auteur.
He is truly an indispensable filmmaker.
I didn’t GET that at first.
Just like I didn’t GET the first Grinderman record when it came out.
Some things take time.
Each artist has their own language.
You must first learn the language.
Maybe you can only run so long.
Which is why an army is not one man or one woman.
That day will come when you are not so lucky.
If you only have one memory.
It is priceless.
Can bad people do a good turn?
And we pray that they see the light.
Can quiet nerds be bad motherfuckers?
You better believe it.
But they never stop being (simultaneously) fragile.
Does Mr. Schmidt fear something in the United States?
Perhaps the former CEO of Google knows something we do not?
Might it concern impending public corruption trials?
And, just maybe, a reelection of Donald Trump?
Lapland Odyssey premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2010.
That was the same year that Toronto-based company Dominion Voting Systems acquired not only Premier Election Solutions (an American company [Ohio]) from ES&S (Election Systems & Software [Omaha, Nebraska]), but also Sequoia Voting Systems [California] from Smartmatic [U.K.].
PES had only been acquired by ES&S the previous year (2009). Before that, PES was owned by Diebold.
Premier Election Systems was formerly known as Diebold Election Systems.
Before Diebold bought it, it was known as General Election Systems.
Before General Election Systems bought it, it was known as I-Mark Systems.
You get the picture.
Dominion Voting Systems is now owned by American private equity firm Staple Street Capital (which has extremely strong ties to the Carlyle Group [George H.W. Bush’s former benefactor]).
Let’s use Google (please, no laughing yet…) to determine how “top” news organizations are covering a mass criminal conspiracy (if proven) which involved installing a losing candidate (Joe Biden) in the place of the candidate who actually won (Donald Trump).
That would be a big story, if true, right?
Let’s do a quick survey.
Because it’s the job of the news media to parse the one-hour-and-thirty-minute event and give American citizens an overview of its salient points.
Google search result for “giuliani press conference” videos page 1 (let’s presume a person might want to watch the whole thing for themselves):
–Result 1. Located on YouTube (owned, like Google, by Alphabet Inc. [how convenient]). Nine minutes. Key term: “hair dye”. Content: Jimmy Fallon
–Result 2. CNN. Two minutes and 42 seconds. Key term: “baseless claims”. Hey, CNN: do you treat all affidavits with such blanket dismissal?
–Result 3: Located on YouTube (part of Google conglomerate Alphabet Inc). Thirteen minutes and 51 seconds. Key term: “insane”. Content: Seth Meyers.
Let’s pause a moment.
Are we to assume that Google is impartially allowing the “most popular” results to rise to the top of their search here? We are presented with 2-out-of-3 results which directly benefit the search engine’s holding company (Alphabet) by way of a subsidiary (YouTube).
Sure, people like a good laugh.
But are comedy monologues usually the most popular when something as serious as a national criminal conspiracy comes to light?
To make fun of Rudy’s running hair dye is an ad hominem attack. Sure, it’s in good fun, right? But did Jimmy Fallon make fun of the room full of press who followed Rudy’s impassioned feat of logic with inane non sequiturs? I doubt it.
To characterize Rudy’s press conference as “insane” is to characterize Rudy himself as “insane”. This is, again, an ad hom attack which conveniently avoids addressing the event on any intellectual merit whatsoever.
Then, strangely, we have “news” wedged in between these two self-dealing redirects by Google. News in the form of CNN. What we appear to find is that, either A: CNN is the most popular news network in the USA (not true based on television ratings, financial solvency, etc.), or B: Google is pushing the views of a not-widely-popular network as being WILDLY-POPULAR.
Well, at least we can hope the title of said news coverage retains the appearance of impartiality.
CNN’s video is titled, “Rudy Giuliani spouts baseless claims at news conference.”
That’s all we need to know, right?
Might as well not even watch it.
…the hour-and-a-half version, much less the 2′(!)42″ version.
CNN is really providing a service here.
They are thinking FOR US.
The video is just complementary.
The title says all you need to know.
There is no subtle shading.
It is black and white.
To CNN (at least), it is clear that Rudy Giuliani’s sworn affidavits are “baseless claims”.
How, I wonder, did CNN come to this conclusion?
Are they able to, point by point, refute each affidavit in a mere two minutes and 42 seconds?
Perhaps an auctioneer delivers the story using logic of which Bertrand Russell would even be proud?
But I doubt it.
And I won’t waste my time being burned again by CNN.
CNN is worse that the village idiot.
Because CNN is not unaware of what it is doing.
–Result 4: Ohhh…The Guardian. U.K. The king’s English. They talk in that proper, fastidious accent. Surely they will be measured and retrospect in their approach. Forty-three seconds. Key terms: “sweaty”, “hair malfunction”, “bizarre”. Right. As has been said recently, your opinion stopped mattering to us in 1776.
–Result 5: People magazine. One hour, 48 minutes, and 39 seconds (no less). Sounds promising. Key terms: “hair dye” and “sweat”. The title is already telling me what to think. It’s already telling me what to focus on. I don’t like that.
–Result 6: Newsweek. A whole whopping 26 SECONDS! Video title: “Tucker Carlson defends Rudy Giuliani”. God forbid…
–Result 7: Located on YouTube [where’s Teddy Roosevelt when you need him?]. The Young Turks. Eight minutes and 45 seconds. Key term: “literally melting down”. Again, ad hominem attack to cast aspersion on the facts presented.
Hey. Rudy is old. Lights can be hot. Lawyers have dropped off his team because THEIR LIVES HAVE BEEN THREATENED. Oh, and there’s this little thing called WORK. Work generates HEAT. A heated human body naturally SWEATS to cool itself down. When’s the last time you saw a “journalist” sweat?
Result 8: Sky News Australia. Surely the Aussies will offer a different take in their one minute 46 second video. Key term: “hair dye sweat”. Ok, maybe not.
Result 9: CNN. Again!!! Wow…they must really be popular. Let me guess: they give Rudy a fair shake here and, therefore, the video is lower rated by Google (and, you know, “we the people” who utilize this fair and balanced search engine)? Again, with CNN, the title says it all (no need even watching [apparently]): “CNN reporter debunks Giuliani’s dangerous and falseclaims.” Wow. So Pamela Brown (whoever the fuck that is) takes just four minutes (!) to refute an hour-and-a-half press conference from extremely literate speakers (not limited to Giuliani, but including lucid delineation by Sidney Powell and Jenna Ellis).
So, let me get this straight: is the whole world (and particularly the United States [whose election has just been stolen by criminal conspiracy]) just a bunch of fart-joke-laughing middle schoolers who gleaned nothing from this masterpiece of oratory other than from the 10 minutes (out of NINETY MINUTES) where Rudy’s hair dye ran down the sides of his face?
I get it. Funny. Ha ha. That’s right. Let’s just discount the whole thing. Let’s discount “America’s Mayor” who saw us through the dark days of 9/11/01. Let’s just take a big dump on him. Let’s kick this prostate cancer survivor in the nuts because, God forbid, he uses hair dye. And, GOD FORBID, he sweats when he works.
For this audience:
a Rudy Giuliani fart is more literate–more articulate than a Joe Biden State of the Union address could ever be (God forbid the later actually happens).
Result 10: Located on YouTube [$]. Bloomberg. One hour, 48 minutes, and 39 seconds. Hmmm…same exact feed as People? Wow. That said, it’s the only result on page one which seems to even attempt taking Rudy as seriously as CNN takes the Green New Deal.
If you’re not much on videos, then read. This seems to be a fairly accurate transcript (though I have just browsed the top portion [after having watched the entire press conference]).
I believe the three people who spoke (Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, and Jenna Ellis) will go down in American history as heroes for what they did today. And so will those working in the shadows (like Joe diGenova and Victoria Toensing).
This is the most epic break in the matrix (or Debord’s “spectacle”, whichever you prefer) in modern American history. It will be remembered that it all started here.
But this time I had a reason to be more emotionally invested.
That’s right, mops.
Mops play a big role in this movie.
Spatulas also make a sort of cameo.
But mops predominate.
In particular, there is a special mop which is almost like a character in this film.
It doesn’t talk.
It doesn’t have a name.
But it is more than a MacGuffin.
Stanley Spadowski (the true star of this movie) received the mop in question for his 8th birthday.
And, apparently, he used that mop well into adulthood.
He decorated it with various bits of colored electrical tape.
And it was with this mop that he dutifully fulfilled his role as janitor at a major local TV news station: Channel 8.
But one day, Spadowski (played brilliantly by Michael Richards) found himself to be, in the tradition of Hitchcock, “the wrong man”.
Spadowski did nothing wrong.
He was not careless.
Even though he didn’t possess a notable intellect per se, he gave his all to his janitorial profession.
…and he actually enjoyed it.
Stanley Spadowski took pride in his work at Channel 8.
But, as “the wrong man”, he suddenly found himself blamed and scapegoated.
Though his unscrupulous employer made no effort to prove Spadowski’s guilt, Spadowski could not PROVE his innocence.
It was a quick exchange…
Q: Did you do this?
Q: I don’t believe you. You’re fired.
Something like that.
And, thus, Spadowski was crushed.
But the most crushing blow for Stanley was when the station owner’s son (also an employee [l’il bit ‘o nepotism]) confiscated Stanley’s mop as “station property”.
It was not.
But Stanley was helpless.
Stanley had no one to stand up for him.
Yet, though he didn’t get what the wanted (to retain his job at Channel 8), he got what he needed: a new job as janitor of the UHF station 62.
And all of this because one man observed the pitiable scene of Stanley being deprived of his tool of the trade (which he had used since childhood).
That man was “Weird Al” Yankovic.
As in the movie (where “Weird Al” is the station manager of “U62”), Yankovic was also the brains behind this movie itself.
He wrote it.
With someone named Jay Levey.
Mr. Levey directed this “cult classic”.
If it tells you anything, Levey still does not have a Wikipedia page in English…41 years after this movie came out.
So I am going to assume that Levey did not go on to bigger and brighter things in the film industry.
That being said, it appears this film actually realized a 20% profit (box office – budget = x [x/budget = profit as a %]).
But let’s get back into Stanley Spadowski (a character “Weird Al” or Levey must have invented).
I’d bet money that Yankovic came up with this character.
But this character could not have come to life without the talents of Michael Richards.
No one, and I mean NO ONE, could have pulled it off.
Michael Richards is a very underrated actor.
If you look on iTunes, you are apt to see a mere two films in which Richards plays anything approximating a significant role.
One is this: UHF.
The other is another sort of “diamond in the rough”: Transylvania 6-5000.
The latter would be a mostly-unwatchable, tedious comedy were it not for Richards’ breakout performance.
Richards distinguished himself as Fejos in that film four years prior to UHF.
Indeed, just a fortnight before UHF was released in 1989, Seinfeld premiered as The Seinfeld Chronicles.
Richards played the role of Kessler.
As The Seinfeld Chronicles became Seinfeld, Kessler became Kramer.
The world, in general, knows Michael Richards as [Cosmo] Kramer.
The show ran for nine years.
But let’s adjust our tack a bit here.
Who is Stanley Spadowski?
I would argue that he is the “cousin” (so to speak) of Carl Spackler: the groundskeeper in 1980’s Caddyshack.
Where Spackler is laconic, Spadowski is prone to frenzy.
And yet, these two characters are cut from a similar cloth.
Spackler (Bill Murray) always has his impermeable camouflage bucket hat.
And usually a dirt-and-sweat-stained T-shirt.
Baggy cargo shorts.
And combat boots.
Appearing in 1980, Carl Spackler would have probably been seen as a nutty Vietnam vet.
Indeed, Spackler is tasked by his boss (the HEAD groundskeeper) to take care of the golf course’s gopher problem.
In hilarious fashion, Spackler goes after the gophers…even employing plastic explosives.
Spadowski is also a T-shirt guy.
And whether they are real or fake (I think fake), Spadowski has noticeable (and endearing) bucked teeth.
He can hardly keep them in his mouth.
He is awkward.
He usually speaks slowly.
But when he gets excited, he is like a fire hydrant that’s just been opened.
What’s important about Spadowski and Spackler is that they are everymen.
They are most certainly underdogs.
And UHF, at its heart, is an underdog story.
U62, the channel, is an underdog.
It is not a network affiliate.
UHF (as opposed to VHF) was the television equivalent of AM radio (as opposed to FM).
You could find ANYTHING on UHF television or AM radio.
Anything was possible.
There was less control.
Today, in my town, my favorite radio station is run by a Methodist church.
Their format (vaguely) is “oldies”.
But their programming swings a bit wildly…and usually I love them for it.
They play songs I’ve never heard.
Occasionally a similar station will pop up in the same range of the dial using this “none of the hits–all of the time” approach (only to disappear back into the ocean of static which separates one clear-signal island from another).
U61 is this sort of beast.
Which makes sense.
Because it is run by a dreamer: George Newman (“Weird Al”).
George starts off this film flipping burgers.
This may be a reference to the 1982 film Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
“Weird Al” gets fired.
The tone of the scene is very similar to Fast Times…
Which brings up an important point.
UHF is a pastiche.
It is stream-of-consciousness.
The narrative shifts wildly with non sequitur episodes interpolated here and there.
UHF makes continuous reference to the pop culture of its day: the 1980s.
And this makes sense because the creator of this film was “Weird Al”: best known as a musician specializing in parodies (usually of contemporary hits).
I hate to get all artsy-fartsy here, but I would dare say there is a modicum of post-modernism in “Weird Al”‘s filmic approach.
And, perhaps more importantly, a noticeable measure of Thelonious Monk (autism?) in Stanley Spadowski.
And so UHF is a work of art which captures awkwardness in some of the same ways that Napoleon Dynamite and Poto and Cabengo do (respectively).
The message is: be yourself.
You have value.
There is a person out there for you.
There is a job that is right for you.
There are no guarantees.
But you won’t be happy anyway if you’re not being yourself.