Last Night in Soho [2021)

First off.

I am in love with Thomasin McKenzie.

I think Saoirse Ronan has lost her touch.

Kat Dennings doesn’t even bother with films anymore.

And Thora Birch is too much of a liberal moron.

But then all actors are liberal morons, aren’t they?

Except for a precious few.

Jon Voight.

James Woods.

Rob Schneider.

Kirstie Alley.

Robert Davi.

Jim Caviezel.

Secondly.

This film is a masterpiece.

Edgar Wright is the best filmmaker in the world right now.

Is he better than Jean-Luc Godard?

No.

But Godard is not making films for mass consumption.

Is he better than Wes Anderson?

BY A MILLION FUCKING MILES!!!

Don’t get me wrong.

Wes Anderson made one perfect film.

And that film was The Grand Budapest Hotel.

And that film wouldn’t have been perfect without Saoirse Ronan.

That’s how important her presence in that film was.

Saoirse has made another perfect film.

Hanna.

But her others are mediocre.

Brooklyn.

Meh.

Lady Bird.

Even more meh (not a good thing).

Saoirse has gone astray.

Just as Thora Birch went astray.

Ghost World is a perfect film.

And American Beauty is close to perfect.

For my money, Homeless to Harvard is her other perfect film.

Kat Dennings films kinda suck.

Her masterpiece is actually 2 Broke Girls.

I’m serious.

But that’s not cinema.

Twin Peaks is cinema.

Even though it’s a TV show.

Histoire(s) du cinéma is the best film ever made.

And it was made for TV.

Homeless to Harvard is a Lifetime movie.

Made for TV.

It is not cinema.

Not exactly.

But it may be a perfect film.

Wes Anderson made his perfect film with Saoirse Ronan.

And he made a good film (Tenenbaums).

The rest are shite.

I did not understand Edgar Wright’s film language when I first saw Shaun of the Dead.

I thought it was crap.

How wrong I was!

Here is my contention.

Every Edgar Wright film is perfect.

Shaun of the Dead?

Yes.

Hot Fuzz?

Yes.

The World’s End?

Yes.

Baby Driver?

Yes.

Scott Pilgrim?

Yes.

And this film is perfect too.

But this is not quite the Wright you are used to.

This is a genuinely scary film.

But it stands up with Psycho, Rosemary’s Baby, and The Shining as one of the four best horror films ever made.

Edgar Wright films are all about detail.

But not the twee obsession with detail that Wes Anderson has.

Edgar Wright is overflowing with talent.

Wes Anderson is not.

Anderson needed Saoirse Ronan to make his perfect film.

And there was a bit (just a bit!) of grit in Grand Budapest.

Saoirse is missing from his other films.

And there is no real grit in any of the others.

Tenenbaums is good.

But the Wes Anderson players are tiresome.

Is Bill Murray amazing?

Yes.

But are his performances in Wes Anderson films his best work?

Absolutely not.

No more Jason Schwatzman (for fuck’s sake!).

Is Luke Wilson a great actor?

Yes.

What’s his best film?

Masked and Anonymous.

Maybe it’s Paltrow and Hackman which make Tenenbaums good.

For my money, Luke Wilson is the one who makes that film go.

But it is not on the same level as Grand Budapest.

Last Night in Soho is the Grand Budapest of the ’20s.

We’re in the ’20s now.

Are they roaring?

Like a fucking mouse.

Last Night in Soho is a gazillion times better than No Time to Die.

This film has everything the Bond film didn’t.

Substance.

Competent directing.

A story worth sticking with.

And so it is fitting that Diana Rigg’s last role should absolutely trump the death of James Bond.

The one George Lazenby film was WAY better than No Time to Die.

The death of love is more sad than the death of the hero.

Diana Rigg is the linchpin in the Bond franchise.

Pull that thread, and the sweater unravels.

Léa Seydoux is boring as fuck in the Bond films.

She was great in Blue.

But she was nothing compared to the one who carried that film (Adele Exarchopoulos).

Exarchopoulos made one perfect film.

Blue is the Warmest Color.

None of her other films are even good.

Wright makes what Youth in Revolt might have been.

He is not glib.

This is not a hipster film.

Michael Cera (who has made one perfect film [Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist]) is, mercifully, NOT in Last Night in Soho.

[correction…Kat Dennings DID make one perfect film]

Thomasin McKenzie’s obsession with ’60s London music is real.

It’s not a fucking Austin Powers joke.

Rita Tushingham is wonderful as Gram.

Excellent casting.

[take note, Bond franchise]

Thomasin hooks up with a black dude.

No big deal.

Take note, Bond franchise.

NOT EVERY FUCKING PERSON HAS TO BE BLACK IN ORDER FOR A FILM TO BE VIABLE!!!

Thomasin’s love interest is a black fellow.

I have no problem with that.

He does a good job.

For fuck’s sake…he doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page!

Michael Ajao.

Fine acting!

There can be important black characters WITHOUT A FILM BEING A WOKE FUCKING JOKE (like the recent Bond film).

No big deal.

Don’t make it a big deal.

It has to fit with the story.

The story is the most important thing.

The writers of the Bond film (Purvis and Wade) have allowed their name to be attached to the fucking pathetic shit of No Time to Die.

So you get a kiwi to speak in a Cornish accent.

GREAT ACTRESS!

Thomasin McKenzie.

Say that name with me.

Jacinda Ardern’s father (or mother?) was a horse.

Ugly bitch.

Ugly soul.

Thomasin McKenzie is the best thing to ever come out of New Zealand.

However, there has been one perfect kiwi movie:  Eagle vs Shark.

Synnøve Karlsen is so fucking annoying in Soho.

And she was supposed to be.

So, good job (I guess).

Every film needs a villain.

And Jocasta (Karlsen’s character) is the real villain of this film.

Thomasin is different.

Jocasta beats her down.

Mentally.

A stingy spirit.

Can never share in any of her joys.

Do you know anyone like that?

But Thomasin is troubled.

Hallucinations?

Maybe.

Seeing ghosts?

Maybe.

We’re trying to solve a case here.

Cold case.

Maybe a lot of cold cases.

Maybe a serial killer.

To the Belle and Sebastian bedsit.

Salad days are short-lived.

Don’t underestimate Sandie Shaw.

Always something there to remind me.

1964.

Puppet on a string.

Gotta pay your dues.

As a wind-up bird girl.

Brian Epstein.

Giorgio Gomelsky.

Andrew Loog Oldham.

ABKCO.

The influence of Vertigo upon Last Night in Soho cannot be understated.

The red of the Café de Paris.

The blonde of Anya Taylor-Joy’s hair.

And Thomasin’s hair.

[also, don’t underestimate Bergman’s Persona]

The glance to the side.

It’s not Jimmy Stewart.

It’s Thomasin.

Allusions to The Way of the Dragon and The Lady from Shanghai in the mirrors.

Sure, a bit of Pulp Fiction.

But that’s just for the kids.

Edgar Wright’s grasp of cinema history is way deeper than some Tarantino bullshit.

And yet, he likes zombies.

And shitty horror films from the ’80s.

I mean REALLY shitty, camp ones.

Slasher films.

Back to Vertigo.

Kim Novak’s apartment is bathed in green neon.

But Thomasin’s bedsit is a red, white, and blue homage to Godard.

An homage to Une Femme est une femme.

Dancing.

Dancing girls.

Prostitutes.

Vivre sa vie.

Pink dress fembot.

Pew pew.

Thomasin is way sexier than Anya Taylor-Joy.

Thomasin is the girl next door.

The frumpy hair of Homeless to Harvard.

I love it.

It must be this way.

To juxtapose the transition to Swinging Sixties glamour.

Is Trump just culture jamming with his vaccine tack?

Either that, or the hero has become the villain.

Did the D.C. swamp make Trump into a swamp zombie?

Maybe no one comes out clean.

International law was broken.

War crimes.

All these Wright films have zombies.

Or robots.

Faceless automatons.

A bit of Dragon Tattoo.

We all like a good microfiche scene!

Is Terence Stamp her father?

If Sandie is her mother?

Could be.

Otherwise, she would be the daughter of a prick.

But Stamp tried to save Sandie.

Arsenic and old lace.

The ones you never suspect.

Sicario.

“Buried” in the walls.

Decomposing.

Poe.

Gacy.

Wright’s “sympathy for the serial killer”.

What happened to these people that made them monsters?

Don’t underestimate Truffaut’s Fahrenheit 451 (his only English-language film…and a flat-out masterpiece).

In the world of Edgar Wright, it is records.

Vinyl.

Not books.

And sometimes the elderly want to die with their memories.

They are not going anywhere.

They are not fleeing.

It’s been a good life.

Going down with the ship.

Up in flames.

The shitbags want their deaths avenged.

After all, they were just horny, well-to-do dads who needed a little excitement.

Prostitution.

It’s the law, after all.

Murder is murder.

Crimes of passion.

By reason of insanity.

Not guilty.

Not insane.

But traumatized.

But Thomasin has been on the adventure.

She knows what Sandie has been through.

Trump was abused for four years.

That is true.

And he fought like a champ.

Is there no justice?

Is it culture jamming (I ask again)?

Confusion.

Keeping his enemies off balance.

Getting a foot in the door.

Truth Social will censor “hate speech” with a Silicon Valley AI bot.

In order to get on Apple App Store and Google Play.

But the roll out is delayed?

Lie about the vaccines.

“Safe and effective”.

Move in for the kill shot.

Against whom?

Big Pharma and the New World Order.

But we have to call out serial killers for who they are.

If you are saying the COVID vaccines are “safe and effective”, you are spreading misinformation that is endangering the lives of those who hear and trust you.

CDC:  11,879

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Open VAERS:  23,149

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Neither safe,

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/safety/adverse-events.html

https://openvaers.com/covid-data/mortality

nor effective.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-covid-deaths-2021-vaccines-b1963790.html

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10,000-20,000 vaccine deaths should be read as 100,000-200,000 vaccine deaths because of this:

https://www.bmj.com/rapid-response/2011/11/02/underreporting-vaccine-adverse-events

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And correlation does not necessarily equal causation…unless this (peep the myocarditis…you think that’s all JnJ? [nigga please!]):

https://openvaers.com/covid-data

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But the election was stolen.

Or was it allowed to be stolen?

When will the other shoe drop?

Or does the other shoe even exist?

This charade is going to go on until 2024?

Maybe Sandie is not her mother.

-PD

No Time to Die [2021)

This is not a game.

Pull quote.

C-17.

This film was a rip of Blood Heat novel 1988 Steve Pieczenik.

Out of print.

Buy now.

https://stevepieczenik.com/product/blood-heat-audiobook/

Little man Fauci Malek.

Unit 731.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_731

Pieczenik banned from Japan.

Current.

Persona non grata.

Khabarovsk War Crime Trials.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khabarovsk_War_Crime_Trials

CIA paperclipped.

But so did Soviets.

No doubt.

Unit 100.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_100

Unit 516.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_516

Unit 1855.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_1855

Unit Ei 1644.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_Ei_1644

Unit 8604.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_8604

Unit 9420.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_9420

Diseases disguised as vaccinations.

Fleas*.

Delivery mechanism.

Marine vessel Ning-Po.

Smallpox joke dropped early.

Date:  November 9, 2021.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/bill-gates-smallpox-terror-attack-b1958789.html

Date:  November 18, 2021.  [note* nine days later]

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/nov/18/philadelphia-lab-smallpox-vials-freezer

Frame of reference.

https://www.centerforhealthsecurity.org/our-work/events-archive/2001_dark-winter/

How many times did Joe Biden drop the phrase “dark winter”?

Can the Democrats allow the midterms (2022) to happen?

Won’t they get politically slaughtered at the polls?

How much has the system which allowed the rigged 2020 U.S. Presidential election been shored up?

Was Virginia (Youngkin) a test?

Gates really likes the number 9.

BioNTech (Pfizer COVID vaccine) cash infusion ($55 mil.) from Gates Foundation.

Date:  September 4, 2019.

https://investors.biontech.de/news-releases/news-release-details/biontech-announces-new-collaboration-develop-hiv-and/

BioNTech NASDAQ IPO.

Date:  October 9, 2019

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-biontech-ipo-idUSKBN1WO29B

Event 201.

Date:  October 18, 2019 [nine days later]

https://www.centerforhealthsecurity.org/event201/

I see five major players of the non-game 6uild6ack6etter:

Klaus Schwab (a Kissinger protégé), Bill Gates, Anthony Fauci, Prince Charles, and Pope Bergoglio.

Shirō Ishii.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shir%C5%8D_Ishii

Deaths of microbiologists in months following 9/11/01.

Benito Que, Donald C. Wiley, Vladimir Pasechnik, Robert Schwartz, Set Van Nguyen, Vladimir Korshunov, and Ian Langford.  Not to mention Air Sibir 1812 (shot down by Ukrainian SAM).  Five microbiologists aboard.  Israeli microbiologists?  En route to Novosibirsk.  Also not to mention Swissair crash on approach to Zurich.  Died:  head of hematology Ichilov Hospital (Israel).  Died:  directors of Tel Aviv Public Health Department and Hebrew University of Medicine.  33 passengers.  24 died.  All Israelis aboard died.  Possible names (pseudonyms?):  Avishai Berkman, Amiram Eldor, and Yaacov Matzner.

https://www.fromthewilderness.net/free/ww3/02_14_02_microbio.html

Masaji Kitano.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masaji_Kitano

Doctors of death.

Listen to the master, Dr. Steve Pieczenik, M.D., Ph.D., speak about this.

https://stevepieczenik.com/2021/08/09/opus-8821-doctors-of-death/

Yoshio Shinozuka.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoshio_Shinozuka

Yasuji Kaneko.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yasuji_Kaneko

War criminals.

Ichirō Hatoyama (Japanese PM 1954-1956).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ichir%C5%8D_Hatoyama

Nobusuke Kishi (Japanese PM 1957-1960).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobusuke_Kishi

Hayato Ikeda (Japanese PM 1960-1964).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hayato_Ikeda

Three Japanese Prime Ministers.

Not indicted.

Please explain Trump’s position on the COVID vaccines.

General Otozō Yamada.

Sentenced to 25 years in a labor camp by the Soviets.

Served only seven years before being repatriated to Japan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otoz%C5%8D_Yamada

General Shunji Sato (a physician).

Sentenced to 20 years in prison.

Served only seven years before being repatriated to Japan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shunji_Sato

Bacteria mass production.

Under “epidemic prevention” and “water purification” euphemisms:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidemic_Prevention_and_Water_Purification_Department

Rami Malek character Lucifer (Lyutsifer).

Peter Daszak working for CIA?

Anthony Fauci covering for CIA?

Fauci covering for U.S. military?

Sticky situation.

Are the statements of Dr. Jon McGreevey (Ryan Dark White) legitimate?

I believe Lin Wood has thoroughly discredited himself by now with his incessant attacks on (particulary) General Michael Flynn.

But could Lin Wood’s whistleblower by bona fide?

He’s running for U.S. Senate in Maryland.

And then you have Ron Watkins (CodeMonkeyZ) running for U.S. House of Representatives in Arizona.

Might as well throw in Bobby Piton running for U.S. Senate in Illinois.

Per McGreevey:

he claims that COVID is a defensive bioweapon “designed to protect the United States” and also (most notably) that he himself designed it.  According to McGreevey, it is called GenAegis (Genetic Shield).  McGreevey elaborates on it a bit here…”a weapon designed to seek out certain DNA, programmable […] they can make endless variants”.

Sound familiar?

https://web.archive.org/web/20210725044535/https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1418973700108476420.html

McGreevey’s assertion is that Obama and Biden gave this bioweapon to China (who then converted it to an offensive bioweapon?).

It was (according to him) developed at Fort Detrick (Maryland).

How does this comport with USMC Major Joseph Murphy’s recent whistleblowing to Project Veritas?

Murphy claims that COVID was a vaccine FOR bats (which was to be administered in an aerosolized version by spraying it into caves in China), but that it leaked out of the Wuhan lab before it was finished.

Murphy’s main contention is that DARPA refused the project, but NIAID (which Fauci runs) then subsequently accepted the project.

The project was proposed to DARPA by the EcoHealth Alliance (run by Peter Daszak).

JAG_Docs_pt1_Og_WATERMARK_OVER_Redacted 2

This evidence was discovered by Murphy in his capacity at DARPA.

The evidence is now ostensibly being held by the Marine Corps Intelligence Activity (MCIA) at Quantico.

Note that NCIS is also HQ at Quantico.

And of course there is FBI there as well.

[not to mention United States Army Criminal Investigation Command (USACID) and U.S. Air Force Office of Special Investigations (AFOSI or OSI)]

But let’s back up to NCIS for a moment.

Why does Ron DeSantis (Navy JAG) seem so much more wise than Donald Trump on the COVID vaccines in these last couple of months?

DeSantis has not gone full-retard like the man who should win the Nobel Peace Prize (Dr. Robert Malone), but DeSantis also hasn’t shot his mouth off like the buffoon Trump.

What happened to Trump?

Great President.

And then he broadcasts to the world that he got the Pfizer vaccine (while encouraging people to take these shots)?

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/donald-trump-i-got-the-pfizer-125703879.html

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And he casually drops his booster status after a crowd in Dallas gathered to hear him speak had just sung the Christian hymn “How Great Thou Art”?  [sounds like Hochul’s church vaccine speech]

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/trump-played-conspiracy-theory-hits-024518810.html

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And then Trump lies (?) to Candace Owens about people taking the vaccines not dying?

https://www.axios.com/trump-candace-owens-dying-vaccine-covid-92fd3eb3-f5ec-4167-8649-113903119de1.html

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And finally, Trump makes what appears to be a pointed reference to DeSantis in which Trump insinuates that DeSantis is “gutless” for not revealing his booster status?

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-roasts-gutless-desantis-for-keeping-his-booster-status-a-secret

Just what the hell has been going on with Donald Trump?!?

These outbursts have caused me to lose all faith in him.

I would take DeSantis (or Ron Paul, or Tucker Carlson, or Candace Owens, or Robert Malone, or RFK Jr. or almost anyone) over Trump at this point.

Trump has backed off the vaccine-pushing.

But I have to say:  that is not good enough.

The man need only visit two websites to understand the danger of these vaccines:

the criminally-parsed version

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/safety/adverse-events.html

IMG_6975

-and-

the actual version

https://openvaers.com/covid-data/mortality

IMG_6976

IMG_6977

These figures (11,879 and 23,149 [respectively]) should be increased by a factor of 10 to account for the historical underreporting to the passive-surveillance (voluntary) VAERS system [HHS] of serious adverse events such as Kawasaki disease (i.e. 118,790 deaths or 231,490 deaths).

https://www.bmj.com/rapid-response/2011/11/02/underreporting-vaccine-adverse-events

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And in case anyone wants to play the “correlation does not necessarily equal causation” card, consider this:

https://openvaers.com/covid-data

IMG_6981

As for their efficacy…

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-covid-deaths-2021-vaccines-b1963790.html

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And of course there is this gem about ethno-specific bioweapons:

https://www.wired.com/1998/11/israels-ethnic-weapon/

Are you starting to understand why China and Silicon Valley want your DNA?

This is a new kind of war where certain people will be purposefully made susceptible and others purposefully made nonsusceptible to bioweapons released on a massive scale.

Not to mention that the vaccines are debilitating the U.S. military (while SecDef Austin [a General] and CJCS Milley stand around with their dicks in their hands).  

That’s treason!

They should have known.

And if they didn’t know, they’re still responsible.

The buck stops with them.

https://vimeo.com/533241402

Why the insane push for all of humanity to receive vaccines that are neither safe, nor effective?

And why is Trump’s “solidarity” with the Canadian truckers (Freedom Convoy) so at odds with his months of moronic statements regarding the vaccines?

Does he not realize that these people are rising up PRIMARILY BECAUSE OF THE VACCINES HE BROUGHT INTO THE WORLD?!?

Don’t forget that Trump’s Operation Warp Speed (of which he is evidently so proud [see Candace Owens article above]) ALSO PAID FOR THE AstraZenca VACCINE (WHICH IS NOT EVEN AVAILABLE AT ALL IN THE USA)!!!

[not to mention three others we funded that are also not available at all in the USA:  Novavax, Sanofi, and GlaxoSmithKline]

https://web.archive.org/web/20201219231756/https://www.hhs.gov/coronavirus/explaining-operation-warp-speed/index.html

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxford%E2%80%93AstraZeneca_COVID-19_vaccine

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Novavax_COVID-19_vaccine

It should be noted that there is not a Sanofi or GSK COVID vaccine approved anywhere in the world.

Where did those $2 billion dollars we gave them go?

While Sanofi and GSK took HHS (U.S. taxpayer) money and ran (producing nothing?), here are the other countries which have developed their own COVID vaccines:

–China (8 different vaccines [Sinopharm BIBP, CoronaVac, Convidecia, Sinopharm WIBP, Zifivax, Minhai, Chinese Academy of Medical Sciences, and Sinopharm CNBG])

–Russia (4 different vaccines [Sputnik V, Sputnik Light, EpiVacCorona, and CoviVac])

–Iran (4 different vaccines [COVIran Barekat, FAKHRAVAC, COVAX-19 {in conjunction with Australian company CinnaGen}, and Razi Cov Pars])

–India (3 different vaccines [Covaxin, ZyCoV-D, and Corbevax {developed by Texas Children’s Hospital < ! > and Baylor College of Medicine <Houston>}])

–Cuba (3 different vaccines [Abdala, Soberana 02, Soberana Plus])

–Turkey (Turkovac)

–Kazakhstan (QazCovid-in)

–Taiwan (Medigen)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_COVID-19_vaccine_authorizations

Why was a children’s hospital and medical school in Texas developing a COVID vaccine that is only available in India (licensed to Biological E. Limited [BioE])?

Who paid for it?

Where’s Rand Paul?

This is a huge waste of money.

The three vaccines we got (Pfizer, Moderna, and Johnson & Johnson [which were totally unnecessary to rush {considering the low mortality rate of COVID-19 <relative to ebola or smallpox, for instance>}]) are neither safe, nor effective.

If Trump knows the available vaccines in the USA aren’t safe (how could he not know?), then he is liable for the death and injury caused by his encouragement for people to take the vaccines.

State Department character based on Ash Carter?

State Department infiltrated by Rami Malek.

CIA is trusting a foreign agent.

Death of Felix Leiter.

Death of James Bond.

Is 007 now a black lesbian like mayor Lightfoot of Chicago and disgraced BLM cofounder Patrice Cullors?

Q is gay.

Houston recently had a white lesbian mayor [Annise Parker].

And what about black lesbian Karine Jean-Pierre (KJP [Psaki’s backup])?

Is this some kind of cult?

That’s a lot of black lesbians.

And one white lesbian.

Muriel Bowser (D.C. mayor)?

Donna Brazile?

Lashana Lynch is aptly named after androgynous Klaus Nomi.

Is 007 now a black transexual?

Spoiler alert:  James Bond dies.

Is this the end of the series?

And the Bond franchise has to keep the diversity in high gear.

Who cast this movie:  Richard Torres-Estrada?

Bishop Garrison?

Lloyd Austin?

Mark Milley?

Michael Gilday?

At least Ana de Armas is charming.

I can’t say the same about Lashana Lynch.

What the fuck is this woke shit?!?

Ian Fleming would be puking his guts out.

Assange in Belmarsh.

But let’s make sure we have the score here.

The one representative of the CIA (Felix Leiter):  black male.

Miss Moneypenny:  black female.

The new 007:  black female.

What percentage of the U.K. is black?

3.3%.

Three percent.

https://www.ethnicity-facts-figures.service.gov.uk/uk-population-by-ethnicity/national-and-regional-populations/population-of-england-and-wales/latest

This is a British film.

Eon Productions Ltd.

Piccadilly (London).

Pinewood Studios.

But the film was also produced by MGM.

Beverly Hills.

Ok.

What percentage of the USA is black?

14.2%.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/fact-sheet/facts-about-the-us-black-population/

Ok.

So let’s look at the main characters.

Daniel Craig:  British white male.

Léa Seydoux:  French white female.

Rami Malek:  Egyptian-American [African-American] male.

Lashana Lynch:  British black female.

Ben Whishaw:  British white male.

Naomie Harris:  British black female.

Jeffrey Wright:  African-American [black] male.

Christoph Waltz:  Austrian-German white male.

Ralph Fiennes:  British white male.

Billy Magnussen:  American white male.

Ana De Armas:  Cuban-Spanish female.

David Dencik:  Danish-Swedish white male.

Rory Kinnear:  British white male.

Dali Benssalah:  French-Algerian male.

14 characters.

It’s nominally a British movie (although co-produced by American company MGM).

What percentage of the main cast is British?

6/14 (43%).

Less than half of the main cast is British.

What percentage of the main cast is American?

3/14 (21%).

That means 36% of the main cast is neither British, nor American.

Why?

Maybe the story called for it.

The evil guys have to be exotic.

Rami Malek (Egyptian heritage) and Christoph Waltz (Germanic).

Dencik (the biological weapons guy) is a Scandinavian playing a Russian.

Also a baddie.

What percentage of the main cast is white?

8/14 (57%).

The good guy (James Bond) is white.

But two of the three villains are also white.

The third main villain is of Egyptian descent.

What percentage of the main cast is male?

10/14 (71%).

It is an action movie.

Who goes to war?

Men?

Are women drafted into most militaries in the world?

Do they participate in combat roles?

How often?

What percentage of the main cast is white male?

7/14 (50%).

Let’s be honest.

The James Bond franchise cucked out to the looters and arsonists of BLM.

Eon and MGM kneeled in fealty to woke Hollywood.

Continuing.

What percentage of the main cast is black?

3/14 (21%).

This is the important number.

Britain is 3.3% black.

So blacks are WAY overrepresented in what is a British franchise.

But even if we figure in the American coproducer MGM, blacks are still overrepresented.

America is 14.2% black.

So blacks are even overrepresented here by 50% in relation to the American production company.

But here’s the other important part.

Of the top seven characters (as they are listed in the Wikipedia entry for this film [presumably based on screentime]), three are black.

3/7 (43% of the “stars” or leading roles in this film are played black people).

Compare that to the 3.3% British black population.

Or the 14.2% American black population.

This is an absurdly-high overrepresentation of black people!

For what?

Are 43% of box office returns in the USA because of black viewers?

I highly fucking doubt it.

And do the 3.3% of Britain who are black make up 43% of the viewership (i.e. revenue) there?

There is strictly no chance.

So this movie is a woke joke.

A woke disaster.

In terms of casting.

The worst is Lashana Lynch.

Not talented.  Not charming.  Completely ill-cast.

Jeffrey Wright is mediocre.

Nothing special.

The best is Naomie Harris.

SHE should have been the black, female 007 (if they were going to go that route).

For fucksake…she was a field agent in Skyfall.

Why the fuck did she get relegated to becoming M’s secretary?

She’s charming.

She’s capable.

Neither of which (in the acting sense) can be said about Lashana Lynch.

Lynch is most similar to Gloria Hendry in Live and Let Die.

At least Hendry was attractive.

Sexy.

And funny.

Or we could compare Lynch to another androgynous abomination:  Trina Parks (Thumper) in Diamonds Are Forever.

Nothing like a flat-as-a-board, muscular black woman to get the heterosexual male fired up.

This is, again (after all), an action movie.

Who is the target audience?

Does the LGBTQ community really get into James Bond?

I don’t fucking think so.

At least Trump is right about this:  “Everything woke turns to shit.”

There are disaster movies.

And then there are movies that are disasters.

This is the latter.

What a fucking woke piece of shit.

And who was responsible for this artistic abomination?

Bay Area failed-snowboarder, Japanese-American Cary Joji Fukunaga.

This dude was totally unqualified to shoot a Bond film.

And it shows.

What a fucking ripoff.

Don’t waste your money on this piece-of-shit film.

Danny Boyle (both excellent Trainspotting films) should have directed this movie.

It appears that Fukunaga not only killed James Bond, but killed the James Bond franchise as well.

Great job, fucktard!

Fuck you, you piece-of-shit, no-talent director.

-PD

 

Lost River [2014)

There’s something very weird going on in Hollywood.

And it has been going on for a long time.

You can look for yourself in Kenneth Anger’s books.

Strange stories about Clara Bow.

The first “It” girl.

From the film of the same name.

And how she kept her skin so soft (ostensibly).

But the range of weirdness in Hollywood seems to move along a continuum.

There are levels.

Not unlike Freemasonry.

Or Scientology.

The hedonism of Henry Miller would be a very low level.

But what we are dealing with here, in this film, is an allusion to a higher level.

Really, the highest level.

There really isn’t a more mot juste for this phenomenon than Satanism.

And, perhaps, even that word does not fully describe what is at issue.

If one was hard-pressed to boil it down–to refine it further, perhaps “evil” would be the essential element.

Recently, the internet collective known only as QAnon “dropped” a crumb of information regarding an establishment in Los Angeles known as the Cannibal Club.

You can find all Q drops here.

The drop in question is #3917 from April 8th of this month.

Here is the website to which Q linked.

It indeed follows the train of thought I delineated above.

You will see the Henry Miller quote (an author I deeply admire).

But then you will see a perversion far beyond (to my knowledge) anything Henry Miller ever wrote about.

What you see on the Cannibal Club website appears to be a restaurant which serves human flesh.

However, with a bit of research, I came to the conclusion that this particular institution (as it is presented) is likely fake.

Why?

The names of the principals all come back empty.  None of them have a digital footprint that I can find.  Sophie Lafitte.  Elspeth Blake.  Hero Conners.  Raven Chan.

The photo of Cannibal Club’s proprietress, Elspeth Blake, was first cached as a stock photo in 2012.

The photo of Raven Chan also was first cached (before it was used on the Cannibal Club website) as a stock photo.  Both photos appear to have originated on the website istockphoto.com .  They are generic pictures.

The Cannibal Club website went live with content in 2009.  Neither the menu, nor the “events” have changed.

My conclusion was that this was a joke made by demented, artsy liberals in order to seed panic in America’s conservative population.

That was my hypothesis:  it is almost certainly a sick joke.

But here’s the rub…

Things like this very well may exist.

Indeed, they probably do.

And thereby we come to the film Lost River.

It came out a mere two years before Trump was elected.

Before Harvey Weinstein was convicted of sex crimes and sent to prison (where, last I heard, he had coronavirus).

Before jet-setter Jeffrey Epstein “hung himself” in a Manhattan jail cell.

You know, Epstein…the guy who flew Bill Clinton and Kevin Spacey to Africa.

All this was before Kevin Spacey had numerous sex crime charges brought against him.

And two of his accusers recently dropped dead (over the past year) bringing both cases to a halt.

Lost River.

I appreciate the style.

Very heavy on the David Lynch (with a modicum of Harmony Korine thrown in).

The focus on “place” is very similar to the technique David Lynch and Mark Frost used to ground the town of Twin Peaks in the TV series of the same name.

Evil.

In the woods.

Underwater.

Underground.

And in secret clubs.

Director Ryan Gosling did a pretty good job with this film.

We will forgive him for lifting the ambiance of that Orbison scene from Mulholland Dr. to repurpose it in his Lost River blood-and-guts cabaret.

Because the reason I watched this film at all was for Christina Hendricks.

She has the potential to join a modern pantheon which, at this time, includes only Thora Birch and Kat Dennings.

Though we are never told this in the film, it is set in Detroit.

And that makes sense.

Deserted neighborhoods with crumbling houses.

But it could be anywhere in America if China’s economic warfare (COVID-19) is not soon countered.

Matt Smith does a good job as Bully:  the embodiment of serial-killer animalism.

The thug.

The gangster.

The cartel head.

Extreme cruelty.

Sadistic.

Gosling did a great job location scouting for the zoo scene.

The abandoned zoo.

Very much like the film Hanna and its scenes in the abandoned Spreepark of East Berlin.

Ben Mendelsohn is a fucker.

Such a prick.

But smart.

He’s not an animal like Bully, though he has rage inside him.

He is more of a predator.

And he is much more powerful.

His character, Dave, is a banker.

And Dave tells us, during the course of the film, that he sets up a little “club” in each of the towns he goes to.

Seems Dave gets moved around a lot.

Comes in.

Fires people.

Gets the books on a firmer footing.

And moves on to the next town where he can oblige the poor and demented with a bit of blood lust with his clubs.

Lots of blood.

Lots of lust.

Dave overlaps nicely onto the persona of Harvey Weinstein.

Christina Hendricks is immediately propositioned by the bank manager.

Dave is a thoroughly-unscrupulous scumbag.

Hendricks just wants to hang on to her home…dilapidated though it may be.

Saoirse Ronan does a nice job in a relatively-minor role here.

She glitters occasionally…as she plays her Casio on her bed with sparkly finger polish.

Whispering out a little song.

Or as she tucks in her pet rat for the night.

But it is not the ginger Ronan we are used to.

Her hair is black.

To fit with the landscape.

And to let Hendricks (also a redhead) stand out as the star.

Saoirse is the “girl next door”…literally.

In the tradition of American Beauty.

By this method we can trace Gosling’s influences.

The overarching one is David Lynch.

This film is creepy.

Plenty creepy.

Much of the creepiness comes from the casting.

It really is an amalgam of Lynch’s freaks with Harmony Korine’s amateurs.

There is the grief of the mute grandmother.

Caught in a loop of family films.

Mourning her late-husband who died tragically.

It is sad.

It happens.

The inability to talk for some time after a shock.

Extreme PTSD.

The family films are sad.

Watching how they used to be.

The way they were.

And the grandmother still a widow…with a fishnet veil for mourning.

There is some rubbish in this movie.

Kind of how the second season of Twin Peaks went off the rails.

Eva Mendes is good here.

And scary.

In the basement is something very Ex Machina (also 2014).

And even more so John Cale’s Vintage Violence.

Shells.

Mortal coils.

Simulation.

Apparently, customers can come down and “murder” real people in these shells.

The shells are of a hard, clear plastic.

And formfitting.

The shells supposedly prevent any real bodily harm.

But we never really see them in action.

Iain De Caestecker is pretty good here.

There is a realness in the urgency of his running.

Gosling’s editing crystalizes this.

Running for love.

Panic.

Running to save.

To set off running.

Unprepared for how long the journey really is.

Something special here.

Good vs. evil.

To give.

Charity.

To be selfish.

To ignore the needs of others.

To follow the voice of God.

To follow the instruction of the Holy Spirit.

To be humble before God.

To fear God.

To feel evil all around.

When it comes, and when it goes.

But the most quizzical scene is when Christina Hendricks cuts her own face off (in simulation, of course) in exactly the way we have heard about in the infamous, rumored Frazzledrip video.

In 2014.

Two years before such a thing came to light.

What a strange coincidence.

Let us synthesize more.

Could there be clubs (in L.A., for instance) where children have their faces cut off (for real) in front of an audience of sickos?

Further question, how does Hollywood (in L.A.) have the “imagination” to write these sorts of scenes?

Sure, there’s the old French film Eyes Without a Face.

But that was cosmetic.

It wasn’t for the thrill of spectators.

It was a medical procedure gone wrong.

Gory as it was, it was to SAVE the face of his daughter that the misguided doctor went on a hunt for faces.

Here, the faces are potlatched (apparently).

Or eaten.

But again, this is just a “cabaret”, we are told.

We see behind the scenes.

“Fake blood”.

So where is the truth in these “jokes”?

What kinds of personalities find humor in this?

John Podesta famously jokes about cannibalism in Time magazine and elsewhere.

He jokes about the cannibalistic Donner party.

He had cannibal art hanging on his office wall (a loan from his art-collector-brother Tony Podesta).

Strange fixation, that.

Very creepy.

Verging on Silence of the Lambs.

Ed Gein.

Dahmer.

Really vile stuff.

This is an interesting movie.

Gosling has talent as a director.

He should make more films.

This was his debut.

He has directed nothing sense.

My only quibble is this:  Christina Hendricks was so misused here.

Saoirse Ronan was almost equally misused.

Gosling needs to watch more Godard.

More Hitchcock.

You don’t cast Grace Kelly only to have her wear the same sweater for the whole film.

But it’s also Hendricks’ fault.

She has talent.

But she must embrace who she is.

She is not a good enough actor to be a puritan.

 

-PD

Sixteen Candles [1984)

If you don’t believe John Hughes was a genius, see this film.

Seriously.

Because I didn’t believe.

Though Hughes made one of my favorite 1980s comedies (Planes, Trains and Automobiles), I didn’t really get it.

It being the John Hughes phenomenon.

While the cool kids had it figured out long ago, I was too contrarian to listen.

Now I get it.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles is truly a special film, but Sixteen Candles is transcendent art.

Don’t laugh.

What would André Bazin make of this film?  Or Gilles Deleuze?  Or Christian Metz?

Who cares???

Well, I care…

But what’s important is what YOU make of it.

And in this case, what I make of it.

But let’s get one thing straight:  Molly Ringwald invented the archetype which Thora Birch and Kat Dennings would later appropriate in doubtless homage.

Which is to say, Molly Ringwald is otherworldly as an actress in this film.

It’s no wonder Jean-Luc Godard cast her in his wonderful, underrated, masterful version of King Lear (1987).

Quentin Tarantino famously claimed (à la Bob Dylan’s conflated biography circa-1962) that he was in King Lear, but Molly Ringwald was ACTUALLY in it.

But enough about QT and nix on the digressions.

So no, I am no Henri Langlois to claim that Sixteen Candles should be in MoMA’s permanent collection, but there is good reason to compare this film favorably to Howard Hawks’ Only Angels Have Wings of 1939.

But none of this shit really matters.

What matters is the part in Gedde Watanabe’s hair at the dinner table.

And even more so (big time)–> is the indescribable Anthony Michael Hall.

AT&T gets it.  Which means the seemingly wonderful Milana Vayntrub ostensibly gets it.

But I’m not sure the understanding flows both ways.

Because America has changed.

We are much closer to the year 1984 (as opposed to Orwell’s 1984) here in late-2016 than to any other period of American experience.

Yeah, Michael Schoeffling could only come from the Reagan era.

But he’s a great guy.  And a fine actor.

And Sixteen Candles teaches us a lot of stuff.

John Hughes, as a film philosopher, is precocious in his grasp of American society in the 1980s.

The outcast wins.

But the conservative wins too.

Really, everybody wins.

That’s what value-creation will do.

But let’s back to A.M. Hall.  This bloke…

What a performance!

And the real chemistry in this film is between Ringwald and Hall.

In the auto body shop.

And so what do we get?

Romance.  Misery.  And tons of fucking jokes.

We must congratulate John Hughes as much for his writing as his direction.

The previous year he had written National Lampoon’s Vacation starring Chevy Chase.

Years later he’d write a stellar reboot for the series in Christmas Vacation (also starring Chase).

You want more movies Hughes wrote but didn’t direct?  How about Home Alone? [check] Or Pretty in Pink (starring Ringwald)?  [check]

But let’s get another thing straight:  this was John Hughes’ fucking DIRECTORIAL DEBUT!!!

But none of this shit matters.

What matters is Molly Ringwald crying in the hallway.

What matters is Molly practicing her potential lines before reentering the dance.

Molly talking on the phone with the Squeeze poster on the wall.

Molly freaking out and taking flight over fight.

And immediate regret.

What films do this?

Perhaps in 1955 we would have looked at Rebel Without a Cause in a similar way.

And rightly so.

Sixteen Candles is its progeny of uncertain admixture.

Looking through the yearbook.

And seeing the one.

The one who burns in your heart.

In America, this is realism (couched in slapstick and screwball).

Molly Ringwald is the loser who wins.

And Anthony Michael Hall is the hopeless dweeb who also wins…by sheer force of will.

There are genuine moments of panic in this film (as soft as they might be) regarding missed communication.  Telephone calls.  House calls.

And it adds just the right touch of anxiety to keep this film catalyzed and moving along.

But what makes all this believable?  The supporting cast.

John and Joan Cusack (especially Joan, whose life make’s Ringwald’s look like a bed of roses).  And John’s future MIT roommate (it would seem) Darren Harris.

But there’s one of the crew which deserves a little extra credit…and that is music supervisor Jimmy Iovine.

The tunes are right.  The attention to detail is solid.

Sound and image merge (as Nicholas Ray and Samuel Fuller had impressed upon Godard that they should) into sonimage (a word Godard would use for his production company Sonimage).

Even the cassette spitting unspooling tape onto the pizza turntable is perfect.

The cassette?  Fear of Music by Talking Heads.

Yes, Brian Eno.

And yes, “Young Americans” as they leave the driveway on the way to the wedding before the famous “au-to-mo-bile” scene.

David Bowie.

Even The Temple City Kazoo Orchestra doing Brahms’ Hungarian Dance No. 5 in G minor…briefly. [which lets our minds drift to Chaplin’s The Great Dictator]

Everything is right sonically.

The band instruments on the school bus.

The Dragnet quotes.

The gongs for Long Duk Dong.

“Lenny” by SRV in the car.  Half a car.

It’s so very sweet.  And sotto voce.  And real.

It’s a mix.  It doesn’t intrude.  You gotta unlock the passenger door to your heart to let this film in.

And a little Billy Idol as Anthony Michael Hall negotiates a Rolls Royce and a prom queen.

So rest in peace, John Hughes.  And thank you for this film.

Et je vous salue, Molly!  Merci for the film.

And thank you Anthony Michael Hall for capturing my youth and bottling it up.

Thank you Molly for capturing the one I loved and bottling up all the quirky, quixotic things which I cannot see anymore.

It is the immortality principle of film.

John, Molly, and Anthony…three geniuses of film.

I am profoundly grateful.

-PD

National Lampoon’s Animal House [1978)

As far as I can tell, I have finished my MBA in management.

Two years of extreme work ended yesterday.

And now I am left to ponder just what the hell I did.

Unlike Mr. Blutarsky (0.0 grade point average), I maintained a 4.00 GPA for my entire graduate studies program.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a film like this.

This is a one-of-a-kind masterpiece.

If you’re not in the right mood, it might turn you off.

But there are plenty of laughs to be had in this classic.

Tom Hulce has a decent shot to join a top-flight fraternity.

His roomie, Stephen Furst is a bit portly and socially daft.

But as in the best college movies, we discover a place for outcasts.

That particular place in this film is the Delta Tau Chi fraternity house.

The 1970s were different.

It was still a joke that the ethnic minorities were segregated into a room at rush parties…along with the blind…and honky dweebs like Hulce (and especially Furst).

It was not a politically correct atmosphere.

It was irreverent.

But the real star in the early going (and throughout much of the film) is Karen Allen.

What a beauty!

James Daughton was briefly in another film we reviewed recently:  Spies Like Us.

Yes, dear friends…this is another John Landis success.

And so Landis seemed to have a sort of pool (including Daughton) from which he was pulling.

Mark Metcalf is appropriately hatable as the Army ROTC officer who makes life miserable for Furst.

But the real inspiration…the spark of genius…is John Belushi as Bluto.

“…when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor”

Exactly.

Also integral is an actor born right here in my hometown:  Bruce McGill (as D-Day).

Plenty of togas.

Lots of beer.  “It don’t cost nuthin’.”

These guys know how to have fun.

And Sarah Holcomb is great.

[Oops…she’s 13?!?]

The film enters “on the road” territory when some of the Deltas visit Emily Dickinson College.

It really is a pretty hilarious bit!

Tim Matheson is the master of strategy for this scraggly band of losers.

I don’t want to give too much away if you haven’t seen this, but Donald Sutherland is really excellent as the professor attempting to interest nonplussed undergrads in Milton’s Paradise Lost.

And so, with that…I’m back!

I hope to get back to reading all of your excellent blogs.

And thank you so much for supporting me even when I was swamped with schoolwork.

🙂

-PD

Twin Peaks “The Orchid’s Curse” [1990)

6:42 a.m.

Rough sleep.

Bit of a logjam.

@ The Great Northern.

And so we learn that life doesn’t work out like on television.

Doesn’t get spun into gold as at the movies.

But we still admire when we identify.

What is the purpose for anything?

All we can control is working hard.

Max Weber.

Recessed to a cul-de-sac of the mind.

Travel alarm.

Audacious mission.

The usual humor from Harry Goaz (UT graduate).

Austin.

And Kimmy Robertson.

A melodrama fit for melodrama.

Post-modern fit for fat.  Tic-tac-toe.

Episode improves upon recitative drought.

The creepiest collection of personages this side of the Mississippi River.

Casting at gas stations.  Diners.  Truck stops.  Rest stops.

Toll booths.  Strip malls.  Turnpikes.  Donut and taco situations.

And always some French fries.

Derrida’s brisure at “doohickey”.

 

-PD

 

Pumpkin [2002)

This is almost a perfect film.

Because it’s better than perfect.

Like Napoleon Dynamite, what should have been a larf was generally a sobfest for me throughout.

If you’re having problems in life, you need to see this movie.

Hollywood is so denigrated these days because the vast majority of popular cinema is utter shite.

From the very beginning, Pumpkin is different.

We should thank American Zoetrope.

And for that we have to thank Francis Ford Coppola and George Lucas.

Do you even know what a zoetrope is?

Well, I do.

And they did.

And it was le mot juste.

A zoetrope is special.

Let’s call it retarded cinema.

A more pure form.  Slowed down.

Pumpkin grossed $308,552 at the box office.

No, I didn’t forget a comma and an additional three digits.

But the Bureau of Labor Statistics has no way of predicting the sort of inflation Pumpkin will experience in the annals of cinema history.

For any who have ever doubted Christina Ricci:  this is her masterpiece.

As lead actress and coproducer, she gives a performance which goes deeper than even the esteemed Thora Birch in Ghost World.

Yes, this is that sort of film.

Indispensable.

I have overused it of late.

But there is no other word.  Pumpkin and Ghost World and Napoleon Dynamite are not second-class films to such as I fidanzati.  No.  They are equals with Ermanno Olmi’s masterpiece.

But don’t get confused.

Pumpkin goes in a direction completely “other” than any film I’ve ever seen.

Sure…it starts out tongue-in-cheek.

It is perhaps a dystopia which is best summed up by the saccharine mise-en-scène of The Truman Show.  But where The Truman Show fails (and that is in many places), Pumpkin succeeds at telling a timeless story.

The story is the cast.

[Thank you Marshall McLuhan.]

Ricci is a thespian goddess here.  Real skill.  Real goddamn skill!

But neck-and-neck is Hank Harris.

I can’t nail it.

It’s something I saw long ago.

At my college orientation.

A bit of Sam Shepard and some other playwrights.

Sure.  It is Steinbeck.  Of Mice and Men.

But it’s more.

Sweeter.  More optimistic.  More frothing with disgust.

All three.

A concoction.

Frozen yogurt and 1400 on the SAT.

Harry Lennix is indispensable to the story.  [start counting]

He is the angry poet.  Not a college professor.  And this is not a class.

This is a poetry workshop, motherfucker!

Even Julio Oscar Mechoso is indispensable in his short role as Dr. Frederico Cruz.  [where we at?]

But let’s talk about some buttresses.

Melissa McCarthy is indispensable (truly) as Julie.

It’s not an easy role.

And yet, she’s not as bad off as Pumpkin.

Who’s Pumpkin?

Is it Christina Ricci with her jack-o’-lantern-perfect bob–her Chantal Goya -meets- David Bowie Low surf perm?  That one little curl…so perfect…all the way ’round?

No.

It’s Hank Harris.

He’s Pumpkin.  Napoleon.  Lothario.

But Sam Ball is especially indispensable here.  [Ugh…]

He is Ken (actually Kent) to Ricci’s Barbie.

Tennis pro.

Spitting image of Ryan Reynolds.

Or Whitney Houston…

Anyway.

This cast brings it together.

Bringing it all back home are directors Anthony Abrams and Adam Larson Broder (neither of whom have a Wikipedia page).

BLOODY HELL, HOLLYWOOD!  HOW COULD YOU CHURN OUT SO MANY FILMS AND NOT SEE THE BRILLIANCE OF THESE TWO BLOKES!?!?!?!?!

But in the end it’s just Ricci and Hank Harris.

The brilliance of a duo.

A truly timeless film.

I’m inclined to agree with many (including Dr. Steve Pieczenik) that Adam Lanza did not exist.

But Pumpkin Romanoff (a nod to Michael Romanoff, the storied Lithuanian restaurateur of 1940s/50s Hollywood?) most certainly did exist.  For me.  Tonight.  When I needed him most.

This is immortality.

 

-PD

Spectre [2015)

There’s a moment in this film when a character says “shoot” instead of “shit”.  It is the linchpin of the film.  What follows is the strangest cut in James Bond history since Roger Moore abruptly went gaucho in Moonraker.  But what we cut to is perhaps the first truly vicious, self-inflicted attack of self-parody the James Bond franchise has ever experienced.  Yes, self-parody.  Vicious.  Like a postmodern vomit of confetti.  This whole film.  But mainly starting at the amorous activities which follow the word “shoot”.

Derrida would find his hinge for deconstruction at “shoot”.  As if the film could not bear one more mild expletive and still retain its PG-13 rating.

But let’s dig a little deeper.

A series notorious for running low on creativity must have been thrilled to have the intellectual property rights to S.P.E.C.T.R.E. following the death of Kevin McClory.  It was not just the death of McClory which allowed the franchise to resurrect its proto-NWO, but also the acquisition by MGM and Danjac LLC of McClory’s estate in late 2013.

And so things must have looked rosy for Eon Productions.

Sadly, they made a few blunders.

Those blunders became the ramshackle, mutilated would-be masterpiece Spectre.

And so just what were these mistakes?

My guess is that many of them occurred behind closed doors.

There are moments in this film at which a film school freshman could have done a better job reeling in the mise-en-scène than did Sam Mendes.  But there’s a problem with that equation.  Sam Mendes is not that bad a director.  NO ONE wielding a nine-figure budget is that bad a director.  And so chalk another crappy movie up to the real villains:  MGM and Colombia Pictures.  Credit Eon Productions likewise with rubberstamping this high-school-science-fair of a picture.

But we can’t let Mendes off that easily.  I hope it was a good payday (again) Sam, because this film is generally a piece of shit.

HOWEVER…there are moments of what could have been.  If the executives had kept their noses (and asses) out of the production process, this could have been a homerun.

Christopher Waltz is good when approached with Hitchcockean framing.  As a silhouette.  You can feel Mendes reaching for Mulholland Dr.  But as per the Sony hacks, eventually you have to show the guy (or do you?).  Suffice it to say that Mr. Waltz is the least-scary Bond villain ever and barely more creepy than Jar Jar Binks.

And so it becomes obvious that cost cutting has its downside.  Who was the other bloke they were going to get for the villain?  Who cares.  Waltz sucks royally.  And yet, he is more competent as an actor than the film is solid in structural integrity.

As a whole, Spectre is a disaster which should never have made it out the door of the dream factory.  Anyone with an artistic bone in their body could have “fixed” this film.  Mendes was apparently not allowed to actually direct.

Fix number one would have been cutting an hour’s worth of superfluous meh.  I mean, really godawful, expensive, explosive meh.  Jesus…this film didn’t need to try and compete with Spiderman or whatever the superhero flavor of the week is.

The writers (God, the writers…) of this film are not worth their weight in rancid butter.  I heard rumors that the dialogue was bad.  Truth is, it is dry-heave bad…but mainly near the end of the film (the last quarter).

Next time, spend $200 mil. on a single, competent writer (Pynchon perhaps) and <$1 mil. on stunts and CGI.  This film experiences a leveraged shite effect throughout.  Oh, by the way…the opening scene in Mexico City is probably the weakest part of the film.  I would rather see Daniel Craig take a moist crap on a silver platter.

But let’s be fair…

This film tried.  It had grand aspirations.  SPECTRE…yes, bringing it all back home.  Establishing credibility from New World Order to Snowden.  Awesome.  Well-done in that regard.

As for the execution…for fuck’s sake.

I’d rather have a clumsily-performed lobotomy than watch this film again any time soon.

The biggest upside of the film is Léa Seydoux.  Ok, so casting got one thing right.  It almost makes up for Christopher “The Last” Waltz.

There are very important themes addressed in this film.  This could have been a light for liberty.  Someone sabotaged it.  Find that corporate person and you have found the real head of the real SPECTRE.

-PD