Reddit has gotta be the lamest site on the internet [2022)

If you are a rule-obsessed control freak, Reddit is the place for you.

It manages to be an antithesis (perhaps, THE antithesis) of the freedom which the internet represents.

I go over there to post some Spotify playlists.

I download the app.

I spend all this fucking time making a dumb-as-shit avatar.

I join about 10 communities.

Only to find out (one by one) that they all have a million rules.

Seriously.

What kind of liberal bullshit is Reddit?

I’m on Twitter, but none of my posts get any views.

Facebook has “moved my posts lower in the ‘news feed'” for 90 days.

Because I shared “misinformation” too many times.

You can’t fucking curse on GETTR (as far as I know).

But at least no one is micromanaging your posts.

Gab is pretty fucking awesome.

But it’s a really small community.

It seems like the initial buzz around Gab has been tempered a bit.

AND there is no Gab app.

THAT is annoying.

But it’s because Apple and Google are cocksuckers.

Speaking of which…

Poor Parler.

I really dug that site.

But then the Apple (App Store)/Google (Google Play)/Amazon (AWS) criminal cartel teamed up to run Parler out of business.

Last time I tried to use it, it wasn’t functional at all.

So I just closed my account.

But Apple, Google, and Amazon should be tried in a RICO case.

These fucking Silicon Valley pricks are racketeering out the wazoo!

https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/09/tech/parler-suspended-apple-app-store/index.html

TikTok is kinda cool.

Really!

It probably has the most people on it.

Even if most of them are 14.

But hey: that was The Beatles’ demographic.

Young people dig music.

And there are some great creators on TikTok.

My favorite is kandiesz.

I hope i spelled it right.

She really does some cool stuff.

I’ve watched all her videos and they were so good that I deleted all the ones I made and started over again.

So, yeah.

I’m on TikTok.

But TikTok has a China problem.

It is, of course, a Chinese app.

The parent company (Chinese) absolutely gets access to American user information.

This is why Trump banned TikTok.

Essentially, he forced TikTok to be sold to an American company.

Who bought it?

Microsoft?

Nobody.

Because Biden became President.

And Biden decided not to ban it.

https://www.nationalreview.com/2021/06/tiktok-is-chinas-trojan-horse/

Think if you worked at the Defense Intelligence Agency and had TikTok on your phone.

That’s a big no-no.

But all these apps (Facebook, et al.) are tracking the fuck out of us.

And Zuckerberg is a China cocksucker.

He goes over there looking for money.

I know he did (for sure) around 2010.

https://www.ecommercetimes.com/story/zuckerberg-goes-searching-in-china-71499.html

And his fake-ass refugee wife Priscilla Chan let him do it.

http://www.chinesetimeschool.com/en-us/forum/-1/4618/posts/

She’s not a Cantonese speaker from Vietnam.

She’s a goddamn Chinese spy.

A NANNY!

And so is Mitch McConnell’s wife Elaine Chao.

Look up McConnell’s sister-in-law Angela Chao.

On the fucking board of the Bank of China!

One of the biggest banks in communist China!!!

https://www.boc.cn/en/investor/ir6/201504/t20150402_4830133.html

She’s another fake-ass refugee.

You think she and her family are genuine Taiwanese refugees from communism?

Not a chance in hell.

Look at the father and his shipping company.

Look who builds the ships.

But GETTR also has a China problem.

Is Miles Guo really an anti-communist refugee?

I have my fucking doubts.

Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t.

But I don’t trust him.

Not yet.

And why is Steve Bannon all up on his ballsack?

But TikTok is a whole other kind of evil.

The word “depression” is not trending.

At all.

As in, no one has ever tagged a TikTok #depression .

MY ASS!!!

And you know what else is memory-holed?

#CrimesAgainstHumanity

Well ain’t that fucking convenient?!?

[Remember: TikTok did not actually get sold to an American company.]

You can’t see how many times “depression” and/or “crimes against humanity” have been applied to TikToks???

That’s some fucking bullshit right there.

But Twitter operates the same way.

Trump was absolutely right: Twitter should not be allowed to do business (the way they are currently doing business) in the USA.

Same for Facebook.

Facebook is like the FBI of social media.

They are censoring grandmas and grandpas for wrongthink.

Fuck Facebook!

Fuck Mark Zuckerberg!!

What a creepy android, spoiled-milk, Chinese-commie cocksucker!!!

Speaking of which.

Instagram.

If I post inane shit, it gets tons of likes.

If I post something political, it’s fucking crickets.

Twitter is similar.

Facebook (or actually Meta, the parent company which owns Instagram) does the same thing.

These social media companies are trying to ENGINEER you.

They are engineering SOCIETY.

They are punishing people for wrongthink.

They are rewarding people for thought acceptable to the Biden regime. [social credit]

{speaking of which, Reddit actually keeps track of your “karma” on the app…that is, my friends, a social credit score…it is still voluntary…you don’t have to be on Reddit…but if you’re on there, you’re gonna have a “karma” score. You might think I’m overreacting. But it is the same as TikTok not letting “crimes against humanity” trend. It is the same thing as all these companies punishing wrongthink through algorithmic “deboosting” aka shadow banning…if you trick the algorithm into thinking you have become a Democrat (takes a lot of work if you have a brain), then a few posts might get through the blockade. But as soon as you say an ill word about the vaccines, you are back in the digital slammer. Your voice is squelched}

And make no mistake: Zuckerberg, Paraga, Vijaya…all these fuckers are hand-in-glove with Biden.

In fact, Biden is probably not leftist enough for them.

He’s not a socialist-cool as AOC or Bernie.

And neither of those twats could operate a convenience store in anything but the red.

So our voices are pushed to the margin.

Because we think differently.

Fuck.

Because we THINK!!!

If you don’t take the COVID vaccines, you are ostracized from society.

Fuck that.

Those fucking things are neither safe, nor effective.

So nobody can hear me on Twitter.

I can post endless shit and hashtag it and it just sits there forever.

Gab is trying (God bless them).

GETTR is marginally-better than the Silicon dipshits.

Facebook is a total loss.

I get a three month slap on the wrist because I know how to tie together links to the CDC website and Open VAERS.

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/safety/adverse-events.html

https://openvaers.com/covid-data/mortality

I know how to show VAERS underreporting by linking to a BMJ article on Kawasaki disease.

https://www.bmj.com/rapid-response/2011/11/02/underreporting-vaccine-adverse-events

Fuck it.

I only have two goddamn degrees.

Misinformation my ass.

It’s because I disagree with Science ™ (aka Anthony Fauci).

There’s one I haven’t mentioned (which is quite good):  Telegram.

But Telegram is not really social media per se.

It’s messaging.

It’s groups.

You cannot build a following on Telegram.

It’s a one-way street.

If you already have a following, you can reach them on Telegram.

But I like it.

It’s effective.

That’s why Germany is trying to ban Telegram.

https://www.dw.com/en/germany-takes-on-telegram-to-fight-extremism/a-60474738

Germany is just as Nazi as it ever was.

And the Nazis are running the government!

If something doesn’t change quick, there are going to be quarantine camps there and elsewhere.

They are already in northern Australia.

https://timcast.com/news/a-look-at-australias-mandatory-supervised-quarantine-facility/

Australia has fallen.

It is not hyperbole.

And Austria (the land of Hitler) has also fallen.

Who’s actually fighting back against the vaccine/health tyranny we are seeing?

Australia is fighting back a little.

Maybe too little, too late.

Germany is fighting back.

France is kinda fighting back.

They are thinking about fighting back.

The best, BY FAR, are the Dutch.

The Netherlands (and Belgium, to a large extent) are fighting back harder than any people on the planet.

American blacks are not fighting back.

Negroes in New York city and other urban areas are letting their rights get trampled on.

All because they think that if they rock the boat, they might not get reparations.

IMG_6502

WAKE UP, MY NEGRO BROTHERS AND SISTERS!

STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS NOW!!!

THE REPARATIONS AIN’T HAPPENING!!!!!!!!

IMG_6499

You got conned.

We all got conned.

Biden ain’t gonna give you reparations.

Fake-ass Kamala ain’t gonna give you reparations.

IMG_1858

Al Sharpton is a fake-ass motherfucker.

They’re all fake.

AOC is fake as fuck.

LeBron sucks Chinese commie cock.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/lebron-bows-to-communist-china-pro-hong-kong-advocates-not-educated-negative-things-come-with-free-speech

I wrote a song about it.  Wanna hear it?  Here it go:

https://open.spotify.com/track/07QYKBQaIlvPE7iwK7W9Ce?si=8a76b3643a864077

Which brings us to Trump.

I am so fucking pissed off at Trump right now for embracing these shit-for-brains vaccines.

10,000+ vaccine deaths in the USA according to the CDC.

IMG_6442

20,000+ according to Open VAERS.

IMG_6443

IMG_6444

If you take into account that VAERS is passive surveillance (reporting is voluntary)…

And you also take into account that the system catches less than one percent of serious adverse events like Kawasaki disease in children (underreporting by a factor of ten)…

IMG_6468

IMG_6469

Then 10,000 vaccine deaths is actually (potentially) 100,000.

And 20,000 (the CDC is parsing HHS VAERS data to make it look half as bad as it actually is) may actually by 200,000.

“Where are they hiding these deaths”, you might ask.

They are chalked up as COVID deaths.

Why?  And how?

Because these vaccines are clearly ineffective (at best).

Fauci knows damn well what antibody-dependent enhancement is.

If a vaccine is not properly and thoroughly tested (as the three COVID vaccines in the USA were not), then it has a possibility of making someone who catches the virus WORSE!

https://brandnewtube.com/watch/flashback-fauci-knew-vaccines-could-make-covid-infection-worse_JDQnlph2eQWqQT6.html

There is little other explanation for what is going on (aside from the idiocy of mass vaccination DURING a pandemic [creating variants which may go against the natural progression of viruses]).

A virus should become more contagious and less deadly during a pandemic.

If it is a natural virus (which COVID-19 most certainly is not [it was created in a lab]).

JAG_Docs_pt1_Og_WATERMARK_OVER_Redacted 2

Omicron is more contagious.

Ok, that adds up.

And Omicron is certainly less-deadly that Delta.

IMG_6525

But HOW IN THE FUCK COULD WE HAVE TWICE (!) AS MANY COVID DEATHS YESTERDAY IN THE USA (when many many many Americans have been vaccinated) AS ONE YEAR AGO TODAY WHEN NOBODY (n o b o d y) HAD BEEN VACCINATED.  The vaccines barely had come into existence.  A very, very few people had been vaccinated against COVID in the USA one year ago.

IMG_5785

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-covid-deaths-2021-vaccines-b1963790.html

So with the benefit of A YEAR of vaccinations (and boosters!), we have twice as many deaths (yesterday…as compared to one year earlier).

Not only that, less people died under Trump (and without the vaccines) than have died under Biden (and with the vaccines).

Look it up.

https://www.cbsnews.com/video/us-covid-19-deaths-in-2021-surpass-2020-death-toll-johns-hopkins-university-says/

https://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/582502-us-covid-19-deaths-in-2021-outpace-last-years-toll

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimberleespeakman/2021/11/20/us-covid-deaths-in-2021-pass-toll-for-2020/?sh=56b1648335a5

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/u-s-has-already-seen-more-covid-deaths-in-2021-than-2020-before-vaccines-were-available-as-experts-again-warn-pandemic-is-not-over-11637769586

https://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-covid-19-deaths-in-2021-surpass-2020-11637426356

https://www.webmd.com/lung/news/20211122/us-covid-deaths-2021-surpass-2020-total

THAT MEANS THE VACCINES DON’T FUCKING WORK.

And the VAERS data mean that the vaccines are dangerous as fuck!

Correlation does not necessarily mean causation?

You’re gonna play that card here??

Ok.

Go to Open VAERS.

Get the data.

https://openvaers.com/covid-data

10,000+ heart attacks among the recently-vaccinated.

IMG_6470

About 3,500 miscarriages.

Which brings me to Trump.

I don’t know what the fuck he’s doing.

Do I expect (considering his moronic embrace of the vaccines) that Truth Social (his forthcoming social network) will be a success?

No.

I like Trump.

A lot!

Or I did!

Until early-October when he started shilling for Pfizer.

“I got the Pfizer” (and encouraging people to get vaccinated).

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/donald-trump-i-got-the-pfizer-125703879.html?guccounter=1

IMG_4205

IMG_4204

Casually mentioning his vaccination status in Dallas in what was essentially a church setting (people singing hymns and stuff).

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/trump-played-conspiracy-theory-hits-024518810.html

IMG_6266

Lying (?) to Candace Owens about “people who are taking the vaccines are not dying” (paraphrase).

https://www.axios.com/trump-candace-owens-dying-vaccine-covid-92fd3eb3-f5ec-4167-8649-113903119de1.html

WRONG!

And then Trump goes after Ron DeSantis because DeSantis won’t reveal his booster status?!?

He didn’t go after him by name, but the reference was clear.

DeSantis is “gutless” according to Trump’s philosophy.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-roasts-gutless-desantis-for-keeping-his-booster-status-a-secret

Well, FUCK TRUMP!!!

Give me #DeSantis2024.

Give me #Rand2024.

Give me #Tucker2024.

Give me #Candace2024.

Give me ANYBODY with a brain.

The vaccines are THE MAIN issue.

Trump is on THE WRONG SIDE of the issue.

Give me RFK Jr. 2024.

Fuck it!

At least he’s honest and educated about the vaccines.

And now for the playlists I was gonna post on Reddit.

Because this is my website and I can do whatever the fuck I want here.

I make the rules.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0E0W9my3Q0eNsCWcikswaD?si=14a2c42dd8ad48f6

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6aOLBPPajuexDPg3v4MLC0?si=67a8f3d65e414fc3

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3uv9YHzQE82WaQTEyrDkdK?si=2c6652b150a547e2

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5MGkJjRK9X95dXhVs7OzoM?si=bd6b04d9524c4478

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4hxwmEUq43G7BnBzNo2obB?si=6f20c27cb1994c4f

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6mUAPLEtkRPfFCRSoZrhXz?si=03ac4f7d6b454423

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5v42kfrr52agnKGaZaRinf?si=94d21b9b8c2c4eda

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Le9nmZYI75Ic6tOCq5RCf?si=2fc027d6f61a431b

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1K3rAlh31Y943qwnKsUmHx?si=0f42aa7e8fe345a0

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2F34z84A0jK5krvV4cwzIL?si=36b244dcad834384

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6CMti5D7dHv2cO81rTHotj?si=51c2ae5aed884c8c

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6MU7Sgv3YN4QmRUVuzalMc?si=e966b16ace29492e

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3BybBY0EUoZYiaFWBkuiRv?si=4ffbda9bf37a4f41

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6nuoJEZ2ccruMnBsbggHZX?si=10d251bd047c42b3

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2pcdmFTBrd66Imy1kLkOoy?si=2162de68c1554b26

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2xNB2yUB3kUpgt29Lv9VJG?si=a52d3feab203423f

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4ts8kpXGiogG0LfRy3kaLd?si=eaa6a5dbbe7340a2

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6rCna5UNNyAG6vUN8SmsvC?si=90e31739df154334

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5EwoqCB7ATKD4gE4S7epeF?si=babb7ab140eb4b1b

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2a1Jde4Nas91y7YboyL9nL?si=89df89c20748442a

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/02vRXxX2yCfQGTZFPfRxys?si=11cb1fe57a364ede

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Dv8L0XhLGWaOxEGWj5u7V?si=a87de3cd6ca8480d

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3szn7vn6f1TC5TcO5VTX1s?si=38c779f5c3704dc6

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3eBu2QoNiYiyFlIMLTiJz7?si=63fc4841f0484c25

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2jkFVjOC1TKMRhatYIvkKg?si=c5f890e8d9134e2f

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0OycxVADCMynt9zGi2uAeK?si=35f11f87b9dc4c41

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3SZk7FBS1PoiP2jkTKIOZq?si=dd3ee5587cde4de3

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3AHw33KYtMQ2IRMykXmz8o?si=746e97fb15ed4836

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3vcqMwdC6NfccY1ONqZ9dV?si=2f8bb80673d84042

-PD

 

zenith [2021)

Jesus and Mary Chain.

Black tar.

Caramelized sugar.

A dangerous confection.

Hit to Death in the Future Head.

Summer is here.

I hear.

Vacuum cleaner solo.

Theremin.

Race cars.

Boys peel out.

High-speed boats.

And again with the UPC scan.

Breaking up on reentry.

Serious audio fuckery.

And from this right into kung fu.  Peter Sellers on Bowie’s Low.  Trance.  But really what we have here is excellent counterpoint.  Lunatic Harness.  Polyrhythms.  Album breaks down soon.  Fast.  Abruptly.  Mental block regarding Wuhan origin.  Harmonic outline you would never find in China.  Terry Riley.  A Rainbow in Curved Air.  Eno.  Visconti.  And the others involved.  A beauty that inspired Philip Glass.  This is what we have.  Low and heroes.  Symphonies.  Glass.  Riley.  Minimalism.  Album called zenith.  Track two already hits “Nadir”.  What’s the arc here?  Arc-en-ciel?  Arkansas?  Immediately pensive.  Very unnerving.  Pop rock track.  Into existential oblivion.  Abrupt modulation.  Uncomfortable.  Eccentric.  Was there a thought process behind this?  Commerce ruins everything.  Imperfect masterpieces.  The rules of the game.  Radiohead.  Joseph Arthur?  Sparklehorse.  The Magnetic Fields.  Gay baritone.  Sad sack confessional poetry in the world of Berryman’s Dream Songs.  Brian Jonestown Massacre.  The Verve.  Strung out in heaven.  J. Spaceman shooting up while praying.  Don’t knock it…  Drug addiction is real.  Mental problems are real.  Here we are.  2020 fucked us up.  And now we wait for the next shoe to drop.  Smashing Pumpkins.  “Silver Fuck”?  Into Sonny Rollins?  Epstein.  Gene Ammons.  Hard to tell it’s (not) real.  Which parts?  Yes.  No.  Fooling the ear with Dave Fridmann.  A totally schizophrenic record so far.  Here we go!  “Belgian Lace, Pale Black Mascara…”  This is more like it.  Rollerskate Skinny.  Martin Rev.  Lots of counterpoint here.  Fux me up.  Disney xylophones.  Internal rhyme-sanity.  Dylan puking up brilliance.  Always Roger Waters with the bass.  Always The Wall.  Pompeii.  Hail to the Thief.  Again and again.  Trying to break new ground.  And it does.  Yerself is Steam.  Album starts to make sense after five tracks.  1 & 5.  This is not bullshit.  I don’t know about the jazz.  I don’t know about the monotonous instrumentals.  Absolutely “Car Wash Hair”.  Suzanne Thorpe would be proud.  Seems to be talking about tits.  A good ride.  Drum machine chugging away.  Can still have a good groove.  Wild Acoustic Chamber Orchestra.  W.A.C.O.  Woodwinds and glockenspiel.  Boces.  What the fuck is this shit?  O.K. computer.  Sounds like some QAnon stuff.  I feel Carlos Santana coming on.  This is what Assange jams out to.  Lots of plays at Fort Meade.  Salsa.  James Brown.  Puerto Rican funk.  As AOC goes to jail.  Serious national security issues for lyrics.  Fictional charges?  Tracers everywhere.  This theory involves an actual conspiracy.  Criminal conspiracy outlined.  By players.  Event 201.  Short circuit.  Johnny 5 is alive.  Legalistic funk.  QAnon wet dream.  FISAgate.  “Spy Gate”.  Somebody send this to Sean Hannity.  Obamagate.  Where is John Durham?  Ryan Dark White knows the truth about Rosenstein.  How many coup attempts by the Left?  Back to Billy Corgan.  Ok, so we have an Alex Jones connection.  Early-’90s goodness.  Butch Vig.  Dream pop.  James Iha.  Bet this guy knows the real story about the Standard Hotel(s).  Great lyrics!  Must be some inside jokes here.  But HOLY FUCK!  He nailed the “Holes” trumpet solo.  Deserter’s Songs.  God damn it.  How did they do this?  The liner notes say Pauly Deathwish has also produced all four of these albums.  Kind of a Jimmy Page thing going on.  Great drum sound.  Yo La Tengo.  “Mayonnaise”.  Siamese Dream.  Benjamin Britten reference?  Slick!  So this guy basically had a music education on par with Jack Nitzsche.  And then went for scumbag rockroll like Phil Spector.  Gotta respect this weird marriage.  This fascination with grunge.  Dinge.  And the facility to clean it up like a chandelier.  Very fucking impressive.  No record label.  Kinda sounds like no funding.  No budget.  The Delgados.  Hate.  The Great Eastern.  More Spiritualized telephony.  The Wall.  Which is to say, Bob Erzin.  And as dark as Berlin.  Which is to say, Bob Ezrin.  Neil Young vibe.  Tonight’s the Night.  Some dark-ass shit.  Nick Kent, where y@t?  IV Thieves.  Coulda done this.  What if Chris “Frenchie” Smith had produced this?  This kid like a protege.  I hear the moniker (stage name) was bestowed by Frenchie Smith.  Strings good.  Eastern European orchestra.  Must have cost a small fortune.  Arcade Fire.  French cinema.  Romantic-era harmony.  But pierced.  Sophisticated.  Absolutely Floyd.  “In The Flesh”.  Last track on Harvest.  Words between the lines.  The promise of the ’60s went to shit in the ’70s.  Where’s QAnon?  Where’s Nakasone?  Where’s CYBERCOM?  Keith Alexander on Amazon board.  Velvet Underground feeding back.  Les Rallizes Denudes.  Primal Scream.  “Swastika Eyes”.  ADAT.  DAT machine.  Sampling.  Stereolab.  Back to another standout track.  “Chaconne”.  Will Smith in the summertime.  Some slick shit.  Messiaen.  Jonny Greenwood.  Lyrics world-class.  All those sand paintings.  Write and destroy.  Suicide girls.  Thom Yorke’s brain doesn’t have this facility.  He’s a great stylist.  Definitely an homage.  And to Godard.  Snow white and psycho.  Heavy shit for Laetitia Sadier and Tim Gane to check out.  Not far from Faust IV.  So sweet.  John Paul Jones.  Ramble on.  Charlotte Gainsbourg.  Keren Ann.  Last track noisy as fuck.  Lo-fi.  Tom Waits.  Sticks together.  Some sad shit.  Music from Big Pink.  Mournful trombone(s).  John Simon.  “Bird on a Wire”.  They don’t make records like this anymore.  David Bowie not dead.  Great phrasing.  Sinatra.  Mark Linkous.  It’s a Wonderful Life.  Believable bass.  Upright citizen.  Bayou curious.  Noise floor drops out.  Some perverse humor here.  An “album”.  It is.  Ten songs.  Ten different directions.  Some tracks stick together.  Like a deck of cards shuffled.  Lots of variety.  Circus peanuts.  The orange ones.  Pure sugar.  Chewy.  Strange texture.  Lots of melancholy here.  What’s this bloke so sad about?  Tell Thurston Moore.  You gotta hear this shit.  Pauly Deathwish’s 4th album (this summer!).  Is this guy trying to set a Guinness record or something?  And he already has a 5th one out.  Christ!

-PD

#8 Mr. Bean in Room 426 [1993)

First, a short list of Hulu failings:

-Pootie Tang (shite)

-Mordecai (shite)

-Lars and the Real Girl (epically shite)

-The Voices (shite)

-Mystery Team (shite)

-Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (shite squared) [catalog dilemma]

-Anchorman 2 (shite to the second power)

-Beverly Hills Cop II (repetitive shiteness) [catalog dilemma]

-Cannonball Run II (must see first episode to appreciate this shite)

-Teen Wolf Too (now with word shite!)

-The Naked Gun 2 1/2 (quasi-decimal shite)

-The Naked Gun 33 1/3 (LP shite)

-My Best Friend’s Wedding (shite)

-Cashback (shite)

-Dear White People (shite)

-Everything Must Go (shite)

-Jerry Maguire (shite)

-The Skeleton Twins (shite)

-Trailer Park Boys (shite)

-16-Love (shite)

-Novocaine (sic shite)

-Dark Horse (Judeo-Nepotistic shite)

-Little Paradise (shite)

-Frances Ha (epically shite)

-Stranger Than Fiction (shite)

-8 Heads in a Duffel Bag (shite)

-C.S.A.:  The Confederate States of America (ambitious shite)

-Trees Lounge (depressing attempt at shite)

-King of California (total shite)

-Dead Hooker in a Trunk (go-back-to-film-school shite)

-Are You Joking? (more Judeo-Nepotistic shite)

-And Now a Word From Our Sponsors (shite)

-Falling Star (Kosher Casino shite)

-Jewtopia (no comment)

-The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (Swedish shite)

-Heathers (cruel shite)

-Sleeping Beauty (barely shite)

-Gold (Irish shite)

-The Hunger Games:  Catching Fire (quintessential shite)

-Jack Ryan:  Shadow Recruit (lazy shite)

-Mission:  Impossible (a colon-full of Scientologist shite)

-Space Milkshake (actually, not too bad…)

[I hate to say it, but the number of films by mediocre directors named Schwarz is really astonishing.]

Now, you might reason:  these are just the rantings of an anti-Semitic film snob.

I admit I don’t laugh easily.

It takes a lot to laugh, it takes a train to cry.

Mostly I don’t like waste.

Entitled filmmakers are more likely to make shite.

They didn’t earn their stripes.

They have an uncle who works for Sony Pictures.

Actually, the film school rubbish on Hulu is astonishing.

It is completely venal in nature.

I just happen to have had some bad experiences with unfunny Jewish films.

What do I mean, “Jewish films”?

I mean exactly what Brandon Tartikoff was referring to when he first saw the Seinfeld pilot.

In that instance, Tartikoff (himself Jewish) was wrong.

Seinfeld was genius!

Seinfeld is a funny show.

Yes, it exists in a Jewish milieu.

Tartikoff thought the show was “too Jewish” to appeal to Americans in general.

He was wrong.

But, sadly, now we have a gaggle of filmmakers who think they are Woody Allen or Mel Brooks.

Status update:  those two guys actually have talent!

Which is not to say they didn’t make some clunkers.

Hulu happens to have picked up two of those clunkers:  Bananas and Life Stinks.

No one’s perfect.

But please…dear world Jewry,

Please tell your precocious sons and daughters that they aren’t all geniuses.

Who’s funding this shit?

Hulu:  who the fuck is in charge over there!?!

Your catalog indicates that you enjoy wasting the monthly fees people pay for your woeful service.

Ok, ok…

A short list of Hulu successes:

-the Criterion collection

THE END.

And so…what part of the Hulu catalog presently needs the most work?

Answer:  the comedy genre of movies.

Second most problematic lack of imaginative curation?

Answer:  the drama genre of movies.

[If you think that Hulu’s selection of movies might be lacking (based on my first two points of emphasis), then you are right:  it is!]

Third crappiest category on Hulu?

Answer:  the “action & adventure” genre of movies.

Even Hulu’s genres are ass-backwards compared to the pinpoint precision of iTunes.

Korean Drama?  Really???  Ok.  I guess Hulu is really killing it in Seoul (and Pyongyang).

CEO Mike Hopkins needs to take a long look in the mirror.

Whoever got the Criterion catalog, give that person an infinite raise.

The rest of them?  Fire their sorry asses.

Beth Comstock needs to overturn the moneychangers’ tables.

Destroy YOUR business, Ms. Comstock.

Jason Kilar…you know what doesn’t work?  Faux-dreams.

Faux-tographs.

A catalog of shite.

Make a call.  Do lunch.

“Anywhere, Anytime:  Shite”

“For the Love of shite”

“Come Shite with Us”

Lot of people drawing a check at Hulu and turning out a subpar service.

The name Hulu comes from two Mandarin Chinese words…both of which translate roughly to “shite”.

Now, just to be fair…I wouldn’t sign up for Netflix if my life depended on it.

iTunes is a horribly antiquated business model (and offers very little value for consumers).

Amazon Prime Video was petty to disallow MacBooks (as incompatible devices) as late as last year.  Not to mention that Jeff Bezos is just a wannabe Rupert Murdoch who bans books like Nobody Died at Sandy Hook.  [And yes, Virginia, Murdoch is the great Satan.]

And so, with such a paltry selection of movies on Hulu, I’ve been forced to examine its television offerings.  The prospects are not much better.

But I will give credit where credit is due.

Mr. Bean was an excellent pickup.

If you want a tight, seamless work of art (unlike this rambling, frothing review), then check out the episode under consideration.

You know, not even the childlike Rowan Atkinson was above making fun of old people (in this episode) or suggesting that continental Europeans be purposefully killed by British drivers (tourists).  Check out his standup comedy album from 1995 for the latter bit.

Which just goes to show…we all lose our heads.

We all exercise poor judgment.  We all have poor taste now and then.

You may not believe it, but I have put my own sorry butt on the line to stand up for world Jewry.

I will be the first to admit that my term “Judeo-Nepotistic” is incredibly crass and insensitive.

And still, I would ask that Jews (who are no doubt hard-pressed on all sides) please exercise some judgment of their own.  Transparent nepotism is really tasteless.  It goes against our better Jeffersonian principles.

So there you have it.  Bobby Fischer was a jerk.  The Holocaust really happened.  Not so sure about the gas chambers.  You’re welcome Faurisson.  The Earth is not flat.  9/11 was an inside job (and therefore not an Israeli job).  Insofar as it was an Israeli job, the U.S. government was at least half-responsible.  It was much more likely an Israeli job than a Saudi job.  Much more likely a purely self-inflicted inside job (no substantial Israeli involvement) than an Israeli job.  And finally, Israel is a criminal country oppressing the Palestinians in a most disgusting manner.

And for good measure, yes Donald Trump is a bigot.  And he’s horribly wrong about immigration (both in regards to our Mexican brothers and sisters and our Islamic brothers and sisters).  But he’s still the only real choice for President.

Sanders has been right about one thing:  Snowden.  Snowden’s a hero.  But America is not a socialist country.  Sanders would actually be a bigger step backwards than Trump.

The other candidates (Clinton and Cruz) are worthless.

So there you go, Hulu…I need some better circuses here!

To keep me out of the political arena!!

I could use some bread as well 🙂

In any case, I’m sorry for my vile ranting.

But film is my religion.  Through film, omnism.

Stop defiling my religion, Hulu.  Your thoughtlessness is ghastly.

Hire some people who love cinema.

Get your shit together.

 

-PD