Baby Driver [2017)

What happens in war?

The CDC declared war on the psyches of Americans when it started counting probable cases of coronavirus and probable deaths resulting from COVID as ACTUAL cases and ACTUAL deaths attributable to COVID-19.

CNN declared war on Donald Trump and waged this war for four-straight years by way of merciless propaganda.

In 1980, an anonymous group erected a mysterious stone structure in the United States which prioritized their stated desires starting thusly: “Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature.”

[the world’s population at the time was 4.43 billion (meaning that this anonymous group thought there were about 4 billion excess humans on the planet)]

In 1910, seven men met in utmost secrecy just off the coast of the United States on Jekyll Island to plan what would become the Federal Reserve System.

Georgia.

Jayne Mansfield was, in all likelihood, a Satanist.

She died when the car in which she was traveling crashed into the back of a tractor-trailer just east of New Orleans.

Did Hitler have tinnitus?

20 July plot.

Operation Valkyrie.

1944.

Could we call those Nazis heroes?

They tried to assassinate Hitler with plastic explosives.

It failed.

But they fucked up his ears.

Kevin Spacey embodies evil in this film (and some might say, in real life).

I avoided watching this film for a long time…strictly because Spacey was in it.

It is well known that he took a trip to Africa aboard Jeffrey Epstein’s “Lolita Express”.

Sexual assault charges have been filed against Spacey by multiple people.

And multiple accusers have subsequently died.

If there is such a thing as the New World Order (some might just call it the Bilderberg Meetings), then Kevin Spacey might well be the most thoroughly-connected Hollywood actor.

It’s just a hunch.

But one thing is certain: Kevin Spacey possesses an amazing thespian talent.

Which brings us to another point.

Do we have to approve of the lifestyles of artists?

Not necessarily so.

I love Pablo Picasso’s work.

I don’t judge his work based on the details of his life.

So I am somewhat remiss to say: Kevin Spacey is brilliant in this film.

And if he be evil in real life, then he had no problem channeling that force for this role.

For he is, undoubtedly, the villain.

And yet, he is human.

There is shading.

Like a Dostoyevsky character.

No one is completely good.

And no one is completely bad.

Which brings us back to war.

We must respect our enemies.

If they indeed demand our respect.

If the Central Intelligence Agency was to have a primary asset in Hollywood, that asset might very well be Kevin Spacey.

Again, just a hunch.

And so we can appreciate brilliance.

Brilliance in conception.

Brilliance in execution.

There are many battlefields.

Many geometric planes on which to do battle.

Kevin Spacey is an infinitely-talented actor.

It is almost scary how deft he truly is.

This movie may have saved my romantic relationship.

My engagement.

On again after four hellish days of arguments.

Because music saves us.

And we make music.

There is a connection which no one can get at.

Our DNA is musical.

Thinking back to Jayne’s measurements.

And songs I’ve written.

A timely shock of hair.

A jawline.

A purity.

Thank you for your service.

Few industries are as sick and corrupt as the acting and music industries.

I know the latter firsthand.

There’s no such thing as a former KGB man.

When life was carefree in Austin, Texas.

Before Antifa ruined it.

Anything was possible.

Everything.

Summer nights.

Potential bursting from every moment.

A sensual heaviness to the air.

Humidity.

Crickets.

The 2020 election was stolen.

And Georgia was centerstage.

Ruby Freeman got caught.

On film.

And (apparently) paid no price.

But this travesty gave us at least one American hero: Lin Wood.

And now L. Lin Wood stands as one of the few remaining beacons in the darkness which has settled over America.

But there were other heroes.

Like Jesse Morgan.

What happened to his truck-full of ballots that he transported from Bethpage, New York to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania?

His truck disappeared.

The 2020 election was a heist of the most grand proportions.

Analog, digital…you name it.

Ask Phill Kline what happened to that truck.

Ask Anthony Shaffer.

The Amistad Project tried to preserve “one person, one vote” in America.

So far, not a single court in the land (post-election) has had the guts to look at the evidence.

And the evidence is embarrassingly-copious.

Jamie Foxx is excellent in this film.

Don’t underestimate the thug.

Street smarts and book smarts differ.

The latter can earn you a living.

The former can keep you alive.

Staying alive in the world of crime and secrecy (a deadly combination) is no small feat.

Especially when the stakes are high.

For criminals, cops are bad.

Unless the cops are corrupt.

In which case, the cops may very well be working to supply the criminals (among other things).

Which makes me think of the highly-questionable Eric Holder.

And the genre this movie emerges from.

A franchise and a genre.

Fast and furious.

We are the scum that keep it alive.

We are the 7 billion people who will not make the cut alluded to in the Georgia Guidestones.

But romance continues in war.

As love is more desperate.

And each moment savored more so.

A morsel here.

There.

We get bold.

Nerds of the world.

Quiet.

Wallflowers.

Desperate times.

Measured.

Yes, we have no bananas.

Just writing songs.

A potential deserter.

Every man has his breaking point.

Ansel Elgort is also brilliant in this film.

Edgar Wright may be the most important film director working in the world today.

This film is a masterpiece.

The problem is (and it’s hardly a problem), all his films are masterpieces.

I watch them repeatedly.

Wright is truly an auteur.

He is truly an indispensable filmmaker.

I didn’t GET that at first.

Just like I didn’t GET the first Grinderman record when it came out.

Some things take time.

Each artist has their own language.

You must first learn the language.

Maybe you can only run so long.

Which is why an army is not one man or one woman.

That day will come when you are not so lucky.

If you only have one memory.

It is priceless.

Can bad people do a good turn?

Yes.

And we pray that they see the light.

Can quiet nerds be bad motherfuckers?

You better believe it.

But they never stop being (simultaneously) fragile.

It is a tenuous balance.

Breathe on it and it collapses.

Yet no hurricane could shake it.

Love.

Chase it.

Fight for it.

Enjoy it.

Be thankful.

Seek it.

God is love.

We must reward those who stick with us.

It is the sweetest honey.

Death is certain.

Life is optional upon participation.

God bless.

-PD

The Spy Who Dumped Me [2018)

Texts.

Lessons.

Spying.

Why does our world persist?

Spy spoof in the mode of The Brothers Grimsby.

And while this film is nowhere near as good as Sacha Baron Cohen’s underrated triumph, it is still quite a good film.

There are some really great action sequences here which rival the Bond franchise.

Which brings up a point.

As there are very few Bond movies, these spoofs must be what the top talent do when they’re not making a legit Bond film.

Justin Theroux is good when he punches into a wall.

He’s also good at the jukebox.

But he’s not Mulholland Drive good.

More importantly, Mila Kunis apparently works at Trader Joe’s.

Which gets to tiki root strata.

And she’s Ukrainian.

Which is doubly or triply weird.

Interesting van work.

Like WarGames.

Biden.

Similar shootout to Tosca.

Great car sequence with Kunis and Kate McKinnon.

And the methed-up driver.

One of the highlights.

An actual “what if” of spy films invading on the real world.

More actual gagging.

The difficulty of hiding a thumb drive.

Suffused with Ukrainian connections.

Ivanna Sakhno is truly excellent in this film.

Funny as fuck…trying to find two dumb American girls in Europe.

Great scene through scope.

I’m really tired of seeing Gillian Anderson in these kind of roles.

What the fuck.

Johnny English Reborn (good film…bad role) and How To Lose Friends & Alienate People.

The bit with Snowden is pretty genius.

Ska!

McKinnon in Cirque du Soleil is a little retarded.

Scene in Tokyo also excessive (literally) and pointless (likewise).

But I really enjoyed this film.

Sam Heughan is decent.

The writing is good.

Good job by director Susanna Fogel.

 

-PD

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People [2008)

This film is squeaky clean.

Antiseptic.

And that is not a compliment.

It is waste of great actors (and a decent story).

Jeff Bridges is good.

Great talent.

Excellent contribution here.

He plays what must certainly be a backhanded homage to Graydon Carter of Vanity Fair.

A magazine I used to read.

Dreaming of entering that glitzy world where my idol Nick Tosches wrote.

All is, in fact, vacuous in such a world (as this movie plainly shows).

Which brings us to me.

And this.

Dossier du cinema.

Pauly Deathwish.

I am almost done.

Being an addict.

Being a basket case.

Almost done.

Almost.

Maybe tomorrow?

Kirsten Dunst has great breasts.

Linchpin.

Melancholia.

Poor men love breasts (as it turns out).

Danny Huston falls like the last laugh of Murnau.

Wiping the shitter.

Riches to rags.

Saudi Arabia.

Gillian Anderson plays the villain here (of sorts).

Megan Fox is boring.

Skinny woman are, in general, unattractive.

Real.

Be real.

Keep it real.

Restecp.

White Russian as bridging mechanism.

Ms. Lebowski.

R. D. Laing.

Lord Byron.

The only cinematography is when Dracula is depressed.

I’ve been blessed (?) with a complete lack of suckcess in my lifetime.

Good bit with La Dolce Vita.

Reminiscent of the open-air movie in Cinema Paradiso.

This film could have been a lot better.

Simon Pegg is an all-world talent.

This kind of tripe is beneath his abilities.

 

-PD

Burke and Hare [2010)

Bad movie.

Very bad.

Scotland.

Pegg bad accent.

William Burke.

William Hare.

Murderers.

This film is about as painful.

Would imagine.

Murdering cinema.

A crime!

Maybe not bad accent.

Irish.

In Scotland.

Boring…

Jessica Hynes.

“SHAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!”

auauauauauauauaua

She’s alright.

Bad editing.

Bad writing.

BAD direction from good John Landis!!!

Bad acting from great Simon Pegg!

Isla Fisher.

Not bad.

Sacha Baron Cohen’s wife.

aaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiight!

Ugh, Macbeth.

All-female version.

Edinburgh.

Great on paper–shite on film!

 

-PD

Who Is America? [2018)

Who is #QAnon?

Or, more aptly, what is QAnon?

Is it a joke?

Is it a trick?

Is it a flypaper coup (as Wayne Madsen might call it)?

I don’t know.

But there is an essential point to consider:

  1.  A party/person in power cannot (by virtue of their ruling position) effect a coup
  2. In the event of a coup, is a “counter coup” then justified?
  3. Ottoman countercoup of 1909, 1960 Laotian counter-coup, Indonesian mass killings of 1965-66, 1966 Nigerian counter-coup, 1967 Greek counter-coup, 1971 Sudanese counter-coup…
  4. Notice the grouping.  How likely is it that Steve Pieczenik came to know of these countercoups during his PhD studies (international relations) at MIT?
  5. A simple search on Google of a specific term (“counter coup d’état”) will presently yield a very intriguing pair of videos featuring Dr. Pieczenik.
  6. Clinton silent coup of November 1, 2016.  Silent countercoup “through Julian Assange and WikiLeaks” effected the next day (11/2/16) by element of the American intelligence community.  Corruption.  Clinton Foundation.  Both coups initiated through the Internet.  “Second American Revolution”.  Forced Comey’s hand re:  Weiner investigation.
  7. https://youtu.be/LHN66mfgsKk
  8. If this video is to be understood in the context of other statements by Pieczenik, it appears that Donald Trump gained power by way of a (counter)-coup.
  9. Which is to say, the coup has already happened.  Yet another reason to embrace the counterintuitive truth that QANON IS NOT A COUP.
  10. Counterintuitive because QAnon indeed SEEMS like a coup.
  11.  Baudrillard.
  12. Debord.
  13. Who is America?
  14. Bernie is exasperated at Billy Wayne Ruddick, Jr., PhD
  15. Dr. Nira Cain-N’Degeocello and his conservative hosts both fancy Herman Miller chairs
  16. Rick Sherman does some “spirit cooking” art with his bodily fluids and excrement
  17. Erran Morad dupes some dense conservatives (but not Matt Gaetz*)
  18. Jason Spencer yells, “Nigger!  Nigger!  Nigger!  Nigger!!!” and thereby has his legislative career ended by Sacha Baron Cohen
  19. Corinne Olympios (!) stood no chance
  20. Dick Cheney
  21. redneck “dream mosque”
  22. Show becomes indistinguishable from political op with extremely mean-spirited character assassination of Judge Roy Moore
  23. Rohypnol in the guacamole at a quinceañera
  24. jokes about human trafficking…stacking girls 20 or 30-high in compartments aboard a luxury yacht (attributed to Bashar al-Assad)
  25. OMGWhizzBoyOMG! Finland hipster Shopkins
  26. Rick Sherman as DJ Solitary walking ground already tread by Matmos on A Chance to Cut is a Chance to Cure
  27. Lewandowski doesn’t fall for it
  28. OMG Antifa dig at black sheriff (implied to be a fascist) by way of inaccurate reference to 1930s Germany
  29. Truth reveals itself.  “Anti-fascists” were communists.  And “fascists” were anti-communist.  A worthwhile movement would be anti-totalitarian (irrespective of right/left paradigm)
  30. Rick Sherman:  chef
  31. #Pizzagate cover from SBC
  32. Infiltration of Antifa.
  33. O.J. hidden footage not really funny
  34. But series is worth watching.
  35. Sacha Baron Cohen is essential

-PD

A Fantastic Fear of Everything [2012)

I found this one difficult to watch.

Multiple attempts.

I’m still alive.

Lon-don.

Tell them I’ll call them back.

Hackney.

Hacked.

Hanoi.

Humbert Humbert.

This is a rather inventive film.

Insular.

Wrapped up in web mind.

Cobwebs.

Webby.

Super glues a knife to his hand!

For fuck’s sake!!!

That’s when it started to get good.

But God knows how long it took me to survive the punishing beginning.

Boredom.

My Beautiful Laundrette.

[sic]

Working Title Films.

Jackpot!

Bean, Lebowski, Ali G., Johnny English, Shaun, Fuzz, Paul, World’s End, Grimsby, Saoirse Scots…

These are my films.

The auteurs of comedy.

Bona fide.

The twins.

And the muse.

My journey through addiction.

Knowing you’re an addict.

And not a patient on medicine.

Step 1.

Can I recapture?

Which way?

What???

Scissorhand.

Shatterhand.

Forgot the soap.

An opera.

Slow-motion underwear.

Soiled with blood.

Dust.

Attic.

Beautiful curry.

Had burned off the hair on one side of his head.

Scrotum.

FaTE.

Very much like lovely bones.

Hatch.

Soft bulletin.

Swung open.

Brochure.

Kiss to remove my gag.

Little ‘Nam.

Indeed.

Martin Rev suicides the wrap arounds from Wal-Mart.

Blinking LEDs chasing across the brow.

Creepy as fuck!

But bathos.

Bathetic.

Maudlin.

Yet in the mold of Frank Giustra (suing Twitter for comments I and others made).

Free speech, mate.

Yes, you have a psychopathic vibe.

It is my human right to state so.

Fuck Canada!

Hackneyed serial killer.

Trite.

Headbutt dog and duck.

Scotch egg.

1001 nights…

The star here (besides our subject of study, Simon Pegg) is the beautiful Amara Karan.

Breathtaking!

Sri Lanka.

Bikini.

Atoll.

Darjeeling.

Investment banker (!):  M&As.

Get the fuck out!

Oxford,

not a terminal degree, but quite academic for iTunes fare.

Pegg’s least-purchased movie (it appears).

But really a fine job by Crispian Mills (Kula Shaker, wot?!?) and Chris Hopewell.

 

-PD

The Disorderly Orderly [1964)

So here’s another movie I was wrong about.

Kinda like how I was wrong about Stan Laurel appearing in The Bellboy.

At least I think I was wrong.

Did I say that?

Because it turns out it was an impersonator.

But back to this here movie.

I couldn’t appreciate it on first viewing (all couple minutes I lasted) because Jerry’s style was so pungent.

Jerry Lewis.

A new star in my firmament.

Peter Sellers still reigns supreme in my pantheon.

And Sacha Baron Cohen still takes the cake for living comedians.

But Jerry Lewis is breathing down Peter’s neck.

And so this film ranks up there.

The Nutty Professor is still probably the best.

And Cinderfella holds a dear spot in my heart because it was the film which proved to me that Lewis was not merely a one-hit-wonder.

And The Ladies Man is really one of the artful, top Lewis films.

And so The Disorderly Orderly is in this rarefied air.

It’s better than The Bellboy.

It’s better than The Family Jewels.

Hell…  Maybe I should watch those again!

But really.

Jerry Lewis was super-talented.

Indeed, let’s delineate a bit.

Lewis directed (and starred in) The Nutty Professor.

But Cinderfella, an earlier film, was directed by the great Frank Tashlin.

Why great?

Lewis deftly directed The Ladies Man while starring in it as well.

But Tashlin was back as director for this film (The Disorderly Orderly).

And so Tash was integral to the career of Jerry Lewis.

I really can’t imagine Jerry’s oeuvre without a Cinderfella.

It is indispensable.

While The Disorderly Orderly might be slightly less timeless, it is still quite an achievement.

Verily, it is a strange film (truth be told).

Indeed, about 3/4ths the way through, our film takes a turn towards dark, psychological energy.

Dreams.

Nightmares, really.

Shame.

Transgression.

Jerry Lewis as a peeping tom is bizarre.

As a stalker.

[especially considering that the real-life Lewis would be stalked in the ’90s by a man named Gary Benson (who subsequently spent four years in prison…ostensibly for stalking Lewis {according to the infallible Wikipedia})]

Humiliation.

Let’s dissect.

There should be some comparison to Mel Brooks’s’s High Anxiety.

“neurotic identification empathy”

Amen, brother!!!

Let’s list the timeless characters:

Julius Kelp

Fella (!)

Herbert H. Heebert [whose moniker bears a striking resemblance to Nabokov’s world-class pervert Humbert Humbert]

and Jerome Littlefield.

This list will grow.

Soon.

But for now, we can consider the timelessness of dear, squeamish Jerome Littlefield.

Too sensitive for this world.

Definitely too sensitive to be an MD!

The whole drama with psych patient Susan Oliver is thoroughly bizarre.

The film language dips from a rollercoaster zenith to a stomach-bottom nadir.

WTF, Jerry Lewis?  WTF?!?

But remember, this is a Frank Tashlin film.

Or is it???

Every Jerry Lewis film is THOROUGHLY DOMINATED BY HIM.

It is obvious that improvisation plays a large part in the final product.

Not to mention silent gestures which loom larger than any script ever could.

Suffice it to say, The Disorderly Orderly is a sort of “flawed masterpiece”.

No, it’s not on the level of La Règle du jeu, but Frank Tashlin was no Jean Renoir.

And yet…Jerry Lewis was.

In his own way.

Which brings us to a perfect non-ending.

Jerry Lewis is an essential part of French cinema.

Put that in your ceci-n’est-pas-une-pipe and smoke it!

 

-PD

 

The Brothers Grimsby [2016)

This one approaches masterpiece.

Spy spoof.

But falls off in the second half.

And yet, it is a real treat.

In the vein of Ali G.

Sacha Baron Cohen is the most important comedian working.

Aside from my other hero, Donald Trump.

There will never be another Peter Sellers.

Never another Andy Kaufman.

But we have Cohen and Trump.

As you were, lads.

 

-PD

Ali G Indahouse [2002)

It has been such a short amount of time.

I am watching movies now rapidly.

Catching up.

Knocking the cobwebs out.

Learning how to write again.

Wassup?

Staines.

London.

Sacha Baron Cohen’s first starring role in a feature film.

And the first cinematic glimpse at Borat (a cameo in a Sellers-like, multi-character moment).

A good film.

Funny.

This is basically Liam Gallagher condensed into a strong appellation…or aftershave…of exotic origin.

Perhaps in a green bottle.

A very rewarding watch.

Not as good as the artful Borat, but not bad at all.

Cultural reference point may be “baggy” culture of Manchester (Madchester).

Hip-hop as embraced by rockers.

Indeed, we see Ali G. meet his bitch Julie when they were both nerdy goths.

So this wasn’t Ali’s first disguise.

Rap was not his first obsession.

Ali was once a long-haired, sweaty thing in a fishnet shirt.

Very Flock of Seagulls.

Or maybe Cure.

Yo, this movie is great!

Very funny.

Check it!

Rap here.  Rap there.

England.

Why can’t they try out the red button on a shithole like Wales?

Because the PM is the PM of Wales as well.

It’s all coming back.

The facility.

Let the word vomit commence.

Friends.

The only way to succeed at writing is to not choke to death on your dinner.

Very bad for your career.

Unless you are already published.

At which time, your oeuvre appreciates in value.

But unpublished, it is like pissing in the dark lose-lose.

We learn new phraseology.

BRB

 

-PD

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby [2006)

This is a pretty damned perfect film.

Depending on where you’re coming from.

I set out for San Antone and I never felt so good.

“”

It might seem like a light watch (and in many ways it is), but Talladega Nights… captures something essential.

Will Ferrell distinguishes himself here as something of an auteur.

Sure, it’s really just an extended George W. Bush impersonation transposed onto the milieu of NASCAR, but there is quite a remarkable naïveté here from Ferrell.

It is kayfabe all the way to Alabama.

Ferrell never gives away the game.

Did Will Ferrell despise George W. Bush?

Did Will Ferrell secretly love George W. Bush?

Was Will Ferrell completely apolitical at this time?

It doesn’t matter.

What we see in his role as Ricky Bobby is pure.

There is something of Andy Kaufman in his performance.

Ferrell plays this role as if in a trance.

And this makes this film truly remarkable.

Sure, there are a ton of one-liners throughout.

The one-liners hook you in.

You see a bit on TV.  You hear a quote by the water cooler.

But when you finally sit down to view the whole film, you are greeted by a very complete work of art.

And, it must be said:  the brilliance of this film hinges as much on Sacha Baron Cohen as it does on Ferrell.

The two play off one-another.

Don’t be fooled:  Cohen’s turn as the Perrier-sponsored NASCAR driver Jean Girard is not a gratuitous cameo.

There is real drama here.

Real tension.

But most of all, it is one of those rare times when two comedic geniuses face off and create a sum greater than the parts.

Indeed, this may be Cohen’s best film role aside from the timeless Borat…

Cohen’s Girard comes off as a rather insipid, tongue-in-cheek Bond villain.

Think Hugo Drax.

Moonraker.

All caricature.

But it works.

Because Cohen mixes in an equal part Serge Gainsbourg.

For my money, there are few things funnier than seeing a NASCAR driver reading Camus’ L’Étranger WHILE DRIVING!!! 🙂

And there are so many of these moments.

Many of them are lowbrow.

Redneck.

But this film is classic.

This is truly a slice of Americana.

And, at the same time, it is a good story about overcoming anxiety.

Amy Adams plays a very important, mostly-understated role as Ricky Bobby’s assistant.

Her impassioned monologue in The Unfriendly Possum (before she climbs up on the table and makes out with Ferrell) is truly a bit of acting brilliance.

She channels something.

Can you buy that?

Can you just pay an actress to be that good??

No.

Not necessarily.

Adams adds a depth which this film dearly needed.

Cohen added a bizarre twist which perfectly seasoned the whole concoction.

But Ferrell is the big enchilada here.

Adam McKay did a nice job reeling this one in.

But he had a juggernaut in Ferrell.

Truly a special film.

It is a niche film.

But I live in that niche 🙂

 

-PD