No Time to Die [2021)

Benito Que, Donald C. Wiley, Vladimir Pasechnik, Robert Schwartz, Set Van Nguyen, Vladimir Korshunov, and Ian Langford. Not to mention Air Sibir 1812 (shot down by Ukrainian SAM). Five microbiologists aboard. Israeli microbiologists? En route to Novosibirsk. Also not to mention Swissair crash on approach to Zurich. Died: head of hematology Ichilov Hospital (Israel). Died: directors of Tel Aviv Public Health Department and Hebrew University of Medicine. 33 passengers. 24 died. All Israelis aboard died. Possible names (pseudonyms?): Avishai Berkman, Amiram Eldor, and Yaacov Matzner.

https://www.fromthewilderness.net/free/ww3/02_14_02_microbio.html

Masaji Kitano.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masaji_Kitano

Doctors of death.

Listen to the master, Dr. Steve Pieczenik, M.D., Ph.D., speak about this.

https://stevepieczenik.com/2021/08/09/opus-8821-doctors-of-death/

Yoshio Shinozuka.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoshio_Shinozuka

Yasuji Kaneko.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yasuji_Kaneko

War criminals.

Ichirō Hatoyama (Japanese PM 1954-1956).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ichir%C5%8D_Hatoyama

Nobusuke Kishi (Japanese PM 1957-1960).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobusuke_Kishi

Hayato Ikeda (Japanese PM 1960-1964).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hayato_Ikeda

Three Japanese Prime Ministers.

Not indicted.

Please explain Trump’s position on the COVID vaccines.

General Otozō Yamada.

Sentenced to 25 years in a labor camp by the Soviets.

Served only seven years before being repatriated to Japan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otoz%C5%8D_Yamada

General Shunji Sato (a physician).

Sentenced to 20 years in prison.

Served only seven years before being repatriated to Japan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shunji_Sato

Bacteria mass production.

Under “epidemic prevention” and “water purification” euphemisms:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidemic_Prevention_and_Water_Purification_Department

Rami Malek character Lucifer (Lyutsifer).

Peter Daszak working for CIA?

Anthony Fauci covering for CIA?

Fauci covering for U.S. military?

Sticky situation.

Are the statements of Dr. Jon McGreevey (Ryan Dark White) legitimate?

I believe Lin Wood has thoroughly discredited himself by now with his incessant attacks on (particulary) General Michael Flynn.

But could Lin Wood’s whistleblower by bona fide?

He’s running for U.S. Senate in Maryland.

And then you have Ron Watkins (CodeMonkeyZ) running for U.S. House of Representatives in Arizona.

Might as well throw in Bobby Piton running for U.S. Senate in Illinois.

Per McGreevey:

he claims that COVID is a defensive bioweapon “designed to protect the United States” and also (most notably) that he himself designed it. According to McGreevey, it is called GenAegis (Genetic Shield). McGreevey elaborates on it a bit here…”a weapon designed to seek out certain DNA, programmable […] they can make endless variants”.

Sound familiar?

https://web.archive.org/web/20210725044535/https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1418973700108476420.html

McGreevey’s assertion is that Obama and Biden gave this bioweapon to China (who then converted it to an offensive bioweapon?).

It was (according to him) developed at Fort Detrick (Maryland).

How does this comport with USMC Major Joseph Murphy’s recent whistleblowing to Project Veritas?

Murphy claims that COVID was a vaccine FOR bats (which was to be administered in an aerosolized version by spraying it into caves in China), but that it leaked out of the Wuhan lab before it was finished.

Murphy’s main contention is that DARPA refused the project, but NIAID (which Fauci runs) then subsequently accepted the project.

The project was proposed to DARPA by the EcoHealth Alliance (run by Peter Daszak).

JAG_Docs_pt1_Og_WATERMARK_OVER_Redacted 2

This evidence was discovered by Murphy in his capacity at DARPA.

The evidence is now ostensibly being held by the Marine Corps Intelligence Activity (MCIA) at Quantico.

Note that NCIS is also HQ at Quantico.

And of course there is FBI there as well.

[not to mention United States Army Criminal Investigation Command (USACID) and U.S. Air Force Office of Special Investigations (AFOSI or OSI)]

But let’s back up to NCIS for a moment.

Why does Ron DeSantis (Navy JAG) seem so much more wise than Donald Trump on the COVID vaccines in these last couple of months?

DeSantis has not gone full-retard like the man who should win the Nobel Peace Prize (Dr. Robert Malone), but DeSantis also hasn’t shot his mouth off like the buffoon Trump.

What happened to Trump?

Great President.

And then he broadcasts to the world that he got the Pfizer vaccine (while encouraging people to take these shots)?

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/donald-trump-i-got-the-pfizer-125703879.html

And he casually drops his booster status after a crowd in Dallas gathered to hear him speak had just sung the Christian hymn “How Great Thou Art”? [sounds like Hochul’s church vaccine speech]

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/trump-played-conspiracy-theory-hits-024518810.html

And then Trump lies (?) to Candace Owens about people taking the vaccines not dying?

https://www.axios.com/trump-candace-owens-dying-vaccine-covid-92fd3eb3-f5ec-4167-8649-113903119de1.html

And finally, Trump makes what appears to be a pointed reference to DeSantis in which Trump insinuates that DeSantis is “gutless” for not revealing his booster status?

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-roasts-gutless-desantis-for-keeping-his-booster-status-a-secret

Just what the hell has been going on with Donald Trump?!?

These outbursts have caused me to lose all faith in him.

I would take DeSantis (or Ron Paul, or Tucker Carlson, or Candace Owens, or Robert Malone, or RFK Jr. or almost anyone) over Trump at this point.

Trump has backed off the vaccine-pushing.

But I have to say: that is not good enough.

The man need only visit two websites to understand the danger of these vaccines:

the criminally-parsed version

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/safety/adverse-events.html

-and-

the actual version

https://openvaers.com/covid-data/mortality

These figures (11,879 and 23,149 [respectively]) should be increased by a factor of 10 to account for the historical underreporting to the passive-surveillance (voluntary) VAERS system [HHS] of serious adverse events such as Kawasaki disease (i.e. 118,790 deaths or 231,490 deaths).

https://www.bmj.com/rapid-response/2011/11/02/underreporting-vaccine-adverse-events

And in case anyone wants to play the “correlation does not necessarily equal causation” card, consider this:

https://openvaers.com/covid-data

As for their efficacy…

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-covid-deaths-2021-vaccines-b1963790.html

And of course there is this gem about ethno-specific bioweapons:

https://www.wired.com/1998/11/israels-ethnic-weapon/

Are you starting to understand why China and Silicon Valley want your DNA?

This is a new kind of war where certain people will be purposefully made susceptible and others purposefully made nonsusceptible to bioweapons released on a massive scale.

Not to mention that the vaccines are debilitating the U.S. military (while SecDef Austin [a General] and CJCS Milley stand around with their dicks in their hands).

That’s treason!

They should have known.

And if they didn’t know, they’re still responsible.

The buck stops with them.

https://vimeo.com/533241402

Why the insane push for all of humanity to receive vaccines that are neither safe, nor effective?

And why is Trump’s “solidarity” with the Canadian truckers (Freedom Convoy) so at odds with his months of moronic statements regarding the vaccines?

Does he not realize that these people are rising up PRIMARILY BECAUSE OF THE VACCINES HE BROUGHT INTO THE WORLD?!?

Don’t forget that Trump’s Operation Warp Speed (of which he is evidently so proud [see Candace Owens article above]) ALSO PAID FOR THE AstraZenca VACCINE (WHICH IS NOT EVEN AVAILABLE AT ALL IN THE USA)!!!

[not to mention three others we funded that are also not available at all in the USA: Novavax, Sanofi, and GlaxoSmithKline]

https://web.archive.org/web/20201219231756/https://www.hhs.gov/coronavirus/explaining-operation-warp-speed/index.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxford%E2%80%93AstraZeneca_COVID-19_vaccine

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Novavax_COVID-19_vaccine

It should be noted that there is not a Sanofi or GSK COVID vaccine approved anywhere in the world.

Where did those $2 billion dollars we gave them go?

While Sanofi and GSK took HHS (U.S. taxpayer) money and ran (producing nothing?), here are the other countries which have developed their own COVID vaccines:

–China (8 different vaccines [Sinopharm BIBP, CoronaVac, Convidecia, Sinopharm WIBP, Zifivax, Minhai, Chinese Academy of Medical Sciences, and Sinopharm CNBG])

–Russia (4 different vaccines [Sputnik V, Sputnik Light, EpiVacCorona, and CoviVac])

–Iran (4 different vaccines [COVIran Barekat, FAKHRAVAC, COVAX-19 {in conjunction with Australian company CinnaGen}, and Razi Cov Pars])

–India (3 different vaccines [Covaxin, ZyCoV-D, and Corbevax {developed by Texas Children’s Hospital < ! > and Baylor College of Medicine <Houston>}])

–Cuba (3 different vaccines [Abdala, Soberana 02, Soberana Plus])

–Turkey (Turkovac)

–Kazakhstan (QazCovid-in)

–Taiwan (Medigen)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_COVID-19_vaccine_authorizations

Why was a children’s hospital and medical school in Texas developing a COVID vaccine that is only available in India (licensed to Biological E. Limited [BioE])?

Who paid for it?

Where’s Rand Paul?

This is a huge waste of money.

The three vaccines we got (Pfizer, Moderna, and Johnson & Johnson [which were totally unnecessary to rush {considering the low mortality rate of COVID-19 <relative to ebola or smallpox, for instance>}]) are neither safe, nor effective.

If Trump knows the available vaccines in the USA aren’t safe (how could he not know?), then he is liable for the death and injury caused by his encouragement for people to take the vaccines.

State Department character based on Ash Carter?

State Department infiltrated by Rami Malek.

CIA is trusting a foreign agent.

Death of Felix Leiter.

Death of James Bond.

Is 007 now a black lesbian like mayor Lightfoot of Chicago and disgraced BLM cofounder Patrice Cullors?

Q is gay.

Houston recently had a white lesbian mayor [Annise Parker].

And what about black lesbian Karine Jean-Pierre (KJP [Psaki’s backup])?

Is this some kind of cult?

That’s a lot of black lesbians.

And one white lesbian.

Muriel Bowser (D.C. mayor)?

Donna Brazile?

Lashana Lynch is aptly named after androgynous Klaus Nomi.

Is 007 now a black transexual?

Spoiler alert: James Bond dies.

Is this the end of the series?

And the Bond franchise has to keep the diversity in high gear.

Who cast this movie: Richard Torres-Estrada?

Bishop Garrison?

Lloyd Austin?

Mark Milley?

Michael Gilday?

At least Ana de Armas is charming.

I can’t say the same about Lashana Lynch.

What the fuck is this woke shit?!?

Ian Fleming would be puking his guts out.

Assange in Belmarsh.

But let’s make sure we have the score here.

The one representative of the CIA (Felix Leiter): black male.

Miss Moneypenny: black female.

The new 007: black female.

What percentage of the U.K. is black?

3.3%.

Three percent.

https://www.ethnicity-facts-figures.service.gov.uk/uk-population-by-ethnicity/national-and-regional-populations/population-of-england-and-wales/latest

This is a British film.

Eon Productions Ltd.

Piccadilly (London).

Pinewood Studios.

But the film was also produced by MGM.

Beverly Hills.

Ok.

What percentage of the USA is black?

14.2%.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/fact-sheet/facts-about-the-us-black-population/

Ok.

So let’s look at the main characters.

Daniel Craig: British white male.

Léa Seydoux: French white female.

Rami Malek: Egyptian-American [African-American] male.

Lashana Lynch: British black female.

Ben Whishaw: British white male.

Naomie Harris: British black female.

Jeffrey Wright: African-American [black] male.

Christoph Waltz: Austrian-German white male.

Ralph Fiennes: British white male.

Billy Magnussen: American white male.

Ana De Armas: Cuban-Spanish female.

David Dencik: Danish-Swedish white male.

Rory Kinnear: British white male.

Dali Benssalah: French-Algerian male.

14 characters.

It’s nominally a British movie (although co-produced by American company MGM).

What percentage of the main cast is British?

6/14 (43%).

Less than half of the main cast is British.

What percentage of the main cast is American?

3/14 (21%).

That means 36% of the main cast is neither British, nor American.

Why?

Maybe the story called for it.

The evil guys have to be exotic.

Rami Malek (Egyptian heritage) and Christoph Waltz (Germanic).

Dencik (the biological weapons guy) is a Scandinavian playing a Russian.

Also a baddie.

What percentage of the main cast is white?

8/14 (57%).

The good guy (James Bond) is white.

But two of the three villains are also white.

The third main villain is of Egyptian descent.

What percentage of the main cast is male?

10/14 (71%).

It is an action movie.

Who goes to war?

Men?

Are women drafted into most militaries in the world?

Do they participate in combat roles?

How often?

What percentage of the main cast is white male?

7/14 (50%).

Let’s be honest.

The James Bond franchise cucked out to the looters and arsonists of BLM.

Eon and MGM kneeled in fealty to woke Hollywood.

Continuing.

What percentage of the main cast is black?

3/14 (21%).

This is the important number.

Britain is 3.3% black.

So blacks are WAY overrepresented in what is a British franchise.

But even if we figure in the American coproducer MGM, blacks are still overrepresented.

America is 14.2% black.

So blacks are even overrepresented here by 50% in relation to the American production company.

But here’s the other important part.

Of the top seven characters (as they are listed in the Wikipedia entry for this film [presumably based on screentime]), three are black.

3/7 (43% of the “stars” or leading roles in this film are played black people).

Compare that to the 3.3% British black population.

Or the 14.2% American black population.

This is an absurdly-high overrepresentation of black people!

For what?

Are 43% of box office returns in the USA because of black viewers?

I highly fucking doubt it.

And do the 3.3% of Britain who are black make up 43% of the viewership (i.e. revenue) there?

There is strictly no chance.

So this movie is a woke joke.

A woke disaster.

In terms of casting.

The worst is Lashana Lynch.

Not talented. Not charming. Completely ill-cast.

Jeffrey Wright is mediocre.

Nothing special.

The best is Naomie Harris.

SHE should have been the black, female 007 (if they were going to go that route).

For fucksake…she was a field agent in Skyfall.

Why the fuck did she get relegated to becoming M’s secretary?

She’s charming.

She’s capable.

Neither of which (in the acting sense) can be said about Lashana Lynch.

Lynch is most similar to Gloria Hendry in Live and Let Die.

At least Hendry was attractive.

Sexy.

And funny.

Or we could compare Lynch to another androgynous abomination: Trina Parks (Thumper) in Diamonds Are Forever.

Nothing like a flat-as-a-board, muscular black woman to get the heterosexual male fired up.

This is, again (after all), an action movie.

Who is the target audience?

Does the LGBTQ community really get into James Bond?

I don’t fucking think so.

At least Trump is right about this: “Everything woke turns to shit.”

There are disaster movies.

And then there are movies that are disasters.

This is the latter.

What a fucking woke piece of shit.

And who was responsible for this artistic abomination?

Bay Area failed-snowboarder, Japanese-American Cary Joji Fukunaga.

This dude was totally unqualified to shoot a Bond film.

And it shows.

What a fucking ripoff.

Don’t waste your money on this piece-of-shit film.

Danny Boyle (both excellent Trainspotting films) should have directed this movie.

It appears that Fukunaga not only killed James Bond, but killed the James Bond franchise as well.

Great job, fucktard!

Fuck you, you piece-of-shit, no-talent director.

-PD

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial [1982)

I’ve been unmercifully harsh on Steven Spielberg over the years.

But this is the first time I’ve written about one of his films.

And, of course, it doesn’t really matter what I think of this movie.

The director couldn’t care less what I think.

And that is fine.

But there is a more profound lesson in all of this.

This situation.

I know the psychology of it.

And I can trace the genesis.

So let me start by saying that E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial is a good film.

Not great, but certainly good.

That is, of course, a statement of opinion.

That’s the nature of what I do.

As I wrote recently, I don’t like to belittle films.

In the end, it hurts me as much as anyone.

It’s simply a poisonous activity.

So I watched this blockbuster from my youth.

Tonight.

A film I hadn’t seen in a looong time.

It almost holds together as a great film.

But Spielberg seems to be the chess prodigy who can’t win a game.

He has the beginnings down.

That’s important.

And his middle game is decent.

But his final approach is a maudlin catastrophe.

Or, put another way, he gives the audience exactly what they want.

But put more precisely, he gives the audience what he THINKS they want.

There is a lot of guessing here.

The old formula ending in, “…you can’t please all of the people all the time.”

There is a lot of good filmmaking in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial.

Some truly special scenes!

A great concept!

But some parts haven’t aged so well.

And it’s not just because the special effects seem dated.

At issue is the artfulness of Steven Spielberg.

My guess is that he’s just not a very artful fellow.

But I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

So we might say, in 1982 he was still not a mature filmmaker.

That is, I think, a relatively fair statement.

This was, of course, Spielberg’s second “space” film.

Indeed, perhaps this was the watered-down, family version of Close Encounters…

And I respect Spielberg for making a family film.

But there is something profoundly grating about his mise-en-scène.

It’s not a pandering of genuine naïveté.

It’s more of a director trying to get into your wallet.

And he did.

Almost $800 million (!) at the box office.

In 1982.

That’s about $2 billion today (inflation-adjusted).

Let me make it very simple.

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial goes astray the first time the bike takes flight.

And completely goes off the rails when the BMX bandits flock to the friendly skies.

But what is most excruciating is the melodramatic “hospital” scene.

Makeshift.

Henry Thomas is really good in this film.

He’s from my hometown (for Christsakes!).

But an 11-year-old boy needs some direction when he’s in a $10 million movie.

He either got bad direction at certain points, or (even worse) no direction.

Sure.

I admire Spielberg for getting in the wallets so deftly.

But poetic pickpockets will be found out sooner or later.

And E.T…., as a whole, has not aged well.

Look…Spielberg is not a bad director.

I always insult Schindler’s List.

That’s because there are some serious problems with how Mr. Jaws took on the Holocaust.

As overwrought as it is, it’s still a popcorn affair.

We will get to it eventually.

But the dead deserve a poet.

The Holocaust is not blockbuster material.

And the daft pickpocket, no matter how good his intentions, will never recuse himself from such a haul.

But more specifically…

I’m sure Spielberg’s motives for making Schindler’s List were as pure as the driven snow.

Really.

I’m not being facetious.

But he was not prepared to make such a picture.

Indeed, the picture he made is not possible.

But that is a different matter for a different day.

The Terminal is a very fine film.

E.T. is a good one.

The most troubling part is that this was Spielberg’s seventh feature-length film.

That’s really not a promising sign.

But we will give him a fair chance.

The guy has immense talent.

It just seems that his puffed-up reputation is disproportionate to the largely mediocre films he’s made.

-PD

5 Comments

Hateship, Loveship [2014)

This one is a mind-bender.

I must admit…I thought I was watching a Weinstein brothers production.

I know, I know.

But the truth is, I went through several mediocre films to find this gem.

Truly Strange: The Secret Life of Breasts. Nope.

3rd World Cops. ¡Ay, carambas!

The Girl in the Book. Non.

The Kidnapping of Michel Houellebecq. Extrême ennui.

Zoom. Ugh…

Say It Isn’t So. No thanks.

Lovelace. Not quite.

And finally the film under consideration: Hateship, Loveship.

At some point I saw the Weinstein brothers’ names.

I can’t seem to pin it down.

But suffice it to say that it certainly wasn’t in relation to the film under review.

Which is to say, finding a good film can be a lot of work.

And reading this review is probably a lot of work as well.

But I hope I save you some small measure of time.

And perhaps guide you to a cinematic treasure which you might have otherwise overlooked.

I have nothing against the Weinstein brothers.

I know hardly anything about them.

But somehow it stuck.

“I’m watching a Weinstein brothers film,” I thought.

But as this minor masterpiece progressed, I further mused, “My goodness, these guys don’t just make crap with explosions.”

Let’s take a short look.

Inglorious Basterds. One of the worst films ever made.

The Imitation Game. Good one.

St. Vincent. Not good.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Meh.

So I would have been right to be incredulous.

Upon further review.

Considering that the Weinstein brothers have largely saturated the world with unwatchable crap.

But Hateship, Loveship is a different story.

To reiterate, this film has nothing to do with the esteemed Weinsteins.

I’m sure they are honorable fellows.

It was just my tired brain which mistook a very fine film (something which they are unaccustomed to making) for one of theirs.

Indeed, it appears the big cheese responsible for this quite stellar film (which grossed a whopping $80,588 [sic] at the box office) was a chap by the name of Michael Benaroya.

And I can honestly say, whatever he sunk into the project was money well-spent.

The direction, by Liza Johnson, is really remarkable.

A lesser film critic would make some comparison to The Truman Show and call it a day.

But I aspire to more.

The connection is simple.

Jim Carrey (once upon a time) tried to do dramatic acting.

The result was The Truman Show.

A good-to-mediocre film.

He’s probably done other “dramatic” stuff, but I could really give a fuck.

In OUR film, a funny lady tells no jokes.

Yes, not to be too murderously-cryptic…but Kristen Wiig plays it straight here.

And she is fucking fantastic!!!

I don’t know where this side of her acting prowess came from (though I did notice her range in, strangely, a film called Paul [2011]), but I must assume that some of the credit for this performance goes to director Johnson.

But still…Kristen Wiig really nails it here!

It’s one of those strange things…

I kept waiting for her to burst out with some goofy impersonation, but no.

And so this film has a sort of tension to it if you know Ms. Wiig as the brilliant comedienne she is.

The story is hard to sum up.

Scrubbing floors…

Scrub scrub scrub.

Little House on the Prairie. [d’accord]

Yes.

Wiig’s character is a plain Jane.

She’s a maid. A housekeeper.

In the beginning, she’s a sort of live-in hospice caretaker.

But I think the best summation for her spirit might be “Protestant work ethic”.

Ahh, that Max Weber chestnut…

It’s a funny thing, though…

Elbow grease so often wins the day.

Indispensable to this tale (back to the movie) is Nick Nolte.

Here is an actor who has aged gracefully.

Like Bob Dylan.

That raspy voice…

He was perfectly cast as a man in need of some housekeeping.

But the really fascinating thing about this movie is the story.

And for that we must thank Alice Munro.

There’s a little bit of stolen identity here.

Internet-age fuckery.

Social engineering (in the sense familiar to “penetration testers”).

Put simply, this film goes because of a scam.

I won’t tell you how. Or whom.

But it is even more tense and eggshell than waiting for Kristen Wiig to tell a joke.

But none of this would matter were it not for love.

Love is the cocoon which holds everything in.

Here.

That kind of love that makes you pack up all your things and head for the unknown.

That kind of love that makes you break the law.

That kind of love that has you end up in an abandoned motel in Chicago.

Yes, Chicago.

We get some Chicago here.

[Even if the film was shot in New Orleans. Of which I’m only part certain.]

Our minds are in Chicago.

Because the story tells us we’re there.

And so we fear.

Busstops.

Trips to an unseen corner store.

Under a highway (for God’s sake!).

Love.

And trickery.

It is no innovation to point out that films are trickery.

Most films.

Fiction films.

With actors.

The kind you like.

But the best films make us suspend disbelief.

And this is one of those films.

We believe Kristen Wiig. We believe Nick Nolte.

We believe the scumbag (played admirably by Guy Pearce).

We believe the cough.

We believe the cocaine on the toilet seat.

Sometimes it’s almost too precious–too perfect.

Too strained to be real.

But Liza Johnson is in firm control of her mise-en-scène.

So while the Weinstein brothers prepare for their “untitled Furby film [in association with Hasbro]”, the damage has already been done.

A little missile of truth has sunk the Hollywood battleship.

If, like me, you want to see something to which you can relate, then try this little slice of awkward loneliness.

Sometimes we just need a goddamned mirror to know we still exist.

-PD

Penelope [2006)

Here we have a strangely-compelling film.

The story is perfect.

The mise-en-scène is adequate.

Ah!

Am I blaming the director?

Not at all!

Not really…

I’m blaming Lionsgate.

But not even that.

I’m blaming Hollywood.

J’accuse …!

Because the effort is there.

Christina Ricci was the right actress.

James McAvoy was surprisingly fantastic.

But Hollywood (even in a globalized coproduction) is ill-equipped to make this sort of picture.

To make a picture about a freak, you must employ freaks.

Real freaks.

People with pain in their hearts.

Thus, the finished product (as it stands) is disingenuous.

I watched the whole thing.

Hoping it would magically get over the hill.

But I’m left a bit crestfallen.

This should have been a masterpiece.

Leslie Caveny wrote a magnificent story.

Mark Palansky did everything he could as a director.

But Hollywood is incapable of thinking outside the box anymore.

And that will be its downfall.

It’s a halting effort.

A noble failure.

Peter Dinklage gives a phenomenal performance.

So here’s what needs to happen.

Remake it.

Let another director try.

No point putting a fine director (Mr. Palansky) through the torture of doing this all over again.

It’s been ten years.

Give a freak a chance.

Total artistic freedom.

Don’t worry about the box office.

Make a piece of art.

The story is there.

But does Lionsgate have the chutzpah to admit its own misstep?

The opportunity calls.

Recognize the brilliance of even TRYING to make this film.

Now make it FOR REAL.

No saccharine kowtowing to Disney archetypes.

Give the world a real film.

It’s your only chance.

-PD

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Pumpkin [2002)

This is almost a perfect film.

Because it’s better than perfect.

Like Napoleon Dynamite, what should have been a larf was generally a sobfest for me throughout.

If you’re having problems in life, you need to see this movie.

Hollywood is so denigrated these days because the vast majority of popular cinema is utter shite.

From the very beginning, Pumpkin is different.

We should thank American Zoetrope.

And for that we have to thank Francis Ford Coppola and George Lucas.

Do you even know what a zoetrope is?

Well, I do.

And they did.

And it was le mot juste.

A zoetrope is special.

Let’s call it retarded cinema.

A more pure form. Slowed down.

Pumpkin grossed $308,552 at the box office.

No, I didn’t forget a comma and an additional three digits.

But the Bureau of Labor Statistics has no way of predicting the sort of inflation Pumpkin will experience in the annals of cinema history.

For any who have ever doubted Christina Ricci: this is her masterpiece.

As lead actress and coproducer, she gives a performance which goes deeper than even the esteemed Thora Birch in Ghost World.

Yes, this is that sort of film.

Indispensable.

I have overused it of late.

But there is no other word. Pumpkin and Ghost World and Napoleon Dynamite are not second-class films to such as I fidanzati. No. They are equals with Ermanno Olmi’s masterpiece.

But don’t get confused.

Pumpkin goes in a direction completely “other” than any film I’ve ever seen.

Sure…it starts out tongue-in-cheek.

It is perhaps a dystopia which is best summed up by the saccharine mise-en-scène of The Truman Show. But where The Truman Show fails (and that is in many places), Pumpkin succeeds at telling a timeless story.

The story is the cast.

[Thank you Marshall McLuhan.]

Ricci is a thespian goddess here. Real skill. Real goddamn skill!

But neck-and-neck is Hank Harris.

I can’t nail it.

It’s something I saw long ago.

At my college orientation.

A bit of Sam Shepard and some other playwrights.

Sure. It is Steinbeck. Of Mice and Men.

But it’s more.

Sweeter. More optimistic. More frothing with disgust.

All three.

A concoction.

Frozen yogurt and 1400 on the SAT.

Harry Lennix is indispensable to the story. [start counting]

He is the angry poet. Not a college professor. And this is not a class.

This is a poetry workshop, motherfucker!

Even Julio Oscar Mechoso is indispensable in his short role as Dr. Frederico Cruz. [where we at?]

But let’s talk about some buttresses.

Melissa McCarthy is indispensable (truly) as Julie.

It’s not an easy role.

And yet, she’s not as bad off as Pumpkin.

Who’s Pumpkin?

Is it Christina Ricci with her jack-o’-lantern-perfect bob–her Chantal Goya -meets- David Bowie Low surf perm? That one little curl…so perfect…all the way ’round?

No.

It’s Hank Harris.

He’s Pumpkin. Napoleon. Lothario.

But Sam Ball is especially indispensable here. [Ugh…]

He is Ken (actually Kent) to Ricci’s Barbie.

Tennis pro.

Spitting image of Ryan Reynolds.

Or Whitney Houston…

Anyway.

This cast brings it together.

Bringing it all back home are directors Anthony Abrams and Adam Larson Broder (neither of whom have a Wikipedia page).

BLOODY HELL, HOLLYWOOD! HOW COULD YOU CHURN OUT SO MANY FILMS AND NOT SEE THE BRILLIANCE OF THESE TWO BLOKES!?!?!?!?!

But in the end it’s just Ricci and Hank Harris.

The brilliance of a duo.

A truly timeless film.

I’m inclined to agree with many (including Dr. Steve Pieczenik) that Adam Lanza did not exist.

But Pumpkin Romanoff (a nod to Michael Romanoff, the storied Lithuanian restaurateur of 1940s/50s Hollywood?) most certainly did exist. For me. Tonight. When I needed him most.

This is immortality.

-PD

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paulydeathwish

musician and film critic

Tag Archives: box office

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Pumpkin [2002)