This year has sucked.
But maybe the past sucked more.
Writing lonely movie reviews in the middle of the night.
Because antidepressants are a motherfucker to get off of.
I haven’t written like this in a long time.
Because I haven’t been lonely enough to hunt through piles of movies to find a gem.
This is a gem.
Do you know that feeling?
Has a movie ever saved your life??
Elton knows that feeling.
Sometimes we get degrees without thinking our lives through.
I have two such degrees.
And the first one makes more sense.
Because I DO love music.
But I live in Texas.
Don’t let anyone tell you that Austin is the capital of dick as far as music goes.
Business makes less sense.
I can’t get a job at a bank.
I am weird.
Like our lead character Megan.
It’s embarrassing as fuck.
To be unemployed.
When you want to work.
I want to work.
Let me tell you.
I stopped drinking.
I stopped using tobacco.
I got off of Ambien.
I got off of Xanax.
And now maybe I’m on the last part.
But it’s taken 8 months.
And my insomnia has gotten worse.
That’s a good first draft of a life.
A story that might connect.
It is my story.
And absolutely true.
But it will float in the ether.
Probably until the Internet ceases to exist.
I am as close as you are going to find to Herman Melville.
Or Henry Miller.
I am a film critic.
And a musician.
And a recovering drug addict.
It’s fucking embarrassing.
Maybe it helps my street cred.
Have you ever had a verbal altercation?
A really nasty conversation.
Where two sides are trying to demoralize each other.
Are you familiar with those?
There is some great acting here by Analeigh Tipton and Miles Teller.
And some great writing by Mark Hammer.
The story takes it a long way.
But having really inspired, talented actors is necessary to take it over the top.
And we shouldn’t forget director Max Nichols…who made this all fit together.
Hammer gives us “Please be a crossdresser.”
There is, in fact, a Psycho reference earlier in the film.
Part of some witty banter.
God…relationships are complicated.
And this film takes weird romance to a whole new level.
It is very inventive.
And, frankly, heartwarming.
Have you ever done something stupid in love?
Ever regretted anything?
Ever almost lost it all???
Maybe like It Happened One Night.
But hell if I know.
Because I’m a lousy film critic.
I just do it for the fun.
For the expression.
No other realm will have me.
Those who can’t, critique.
But I’m a feisty little devil.
As Roger Moore said in For Your Eyes Only, “We’re not dead yet.”
Special ed forces.
Positive mental attitude.
The Spy Who Loved Me.
And, in case of a blizzard, “shared bodily warmth”.
Stalking is a skill.
And some duct tape to fix the neighbors’ window.
Pretty bad ass.
Megan is PISSED OFF.
I’ve done that.
Hundreds of songs.
Some not even listened to.
Is it because the rest of the world are morons?
Maybe because I’m so captivating.
Reliving childhood trauma.
I’m still working.
Hollywood can go to hell.
I’m still here.
I came out the other side.
[more or less]
I almost blacked out there in the middle*
I guess there is a connection to Austin.
But not me.
Down here living in bumfuck San Antonio.
Sitting on my luggage.
With my Stetson.
Done been run over by a stagecoach.
And manure in the air.
I was in Brooklyn when this film was shot.
But I had no idea it was being shot.
Back when I was a professional musician.
But I’m still here.
Rotten Tomatoes can kiss my ass.
I don’t need anybody to tell me what’s good.
I waded through a ton of crap tonight to find Two Night Stand.
It is a fine movie.
It will last.
Fuck everybody else.