I never learned to write like anybody else.
I only learned my own way.
Maybe, you’d say, I never learned to write.
By writing we mean literary composition. Style. Manipulation of prose.
I suppose I rely more heavily on poetry.
But perhaps I’m not a poet. In the strictest sense.
I learned to write like myself. Thanks to film.
Each film is a mirror.
I learned to analyze my emotions and thoughts.
And because I loved the films I tried to convey their artfulness lovingly.
I don’t mean to intimate that I’m going away. Just yet.
I don’t know. Who knows?
I only mean to express this important realization.
As today I sat down to write a novel.
Tried many times before. Unfinished projects. Absurdly obsessive poetry.
But this time was different.
I sat down with literary tools. MY literary tools.
I have developed my own style (for better or worse).
Developing a unique style of anything (but particularly writing) is a tightrope exercise.
For there are times within the modern novel that the novelist must become truly vulnerable.
We can’t have our cake and eat it too.
And why make this Chaplin film suffer the ignominy of being associated with my self-panegyric?
It just works out that way.
I’m a bum, he’s a bum.
A laughing stock.
A stock character.
But I have captured the world (if only for a second).
Modern life can seem hideous, but we wield power through art.
Set pen to paper like the greats before you and know the writer’s life.
The thinking life.
I am but a shabby philosopher.
The reason why I tack these emotions onto Chaplin’s The Circus is because of my affinity for the Little Tramp.
Nothing of Chaplin’s is as shockingly good (to my eyes) as Limelight, but The Circus certainly must rank among his most laugh-out-loud creations.
Perhaps you have seen stills from this film.
Perhaps you have noticed monkeys.
Yes, it is all very hilarious.
But the best is the tightrope as metaphor.
Some “cheat” with a net (no penalty). Others cheat with a safety wire.
In life, we really don’t know when our crutch has been removed.
We don’t realize how ridiculous we look.
Our dependence upon a thing.
And when we outgrow it we don’t realize the momentous importance of those first few moments…in which we are flying free.
You might say that I am overthinking a rather straightforward slapstick farce, but I would advise you to ponder how The Circus ends.
There is more than a bit of sad clown.
The carnival has packed up and a little guy comes into focus as the dust dies down.
Apparently Orson Welles didn’t think much of Chaplin as a director, but on the other hand Orson Welles never made me laugh.
That’s not nothing.