Sometimes we wonder whether the sadness is worth it.
In our epic lives which seem unbearable.
We only wanted a laugh for a second.
But we’ve felt too much. Seen too much. Too knowing.
All week long.
Misery.
And I have a letter in my heart.
But she won’t read it.
Won’t respond.
I am too sad to live.
Like Poe. Like Baudelaire. Especially.
Sitting for long hours in the café which really isn’t a café.
It’s a class struggle.
I can’t afford to be sad.
And I can’t afford not to love you.
This is Blue is the Warmest Color by Abdellatif Kechiche.
He.
Takes his time unwinding this story.
So delicate. As lovers with mangoes.
Nobody’s listening.
Praise be to God!
I can’t.
Reveal myself to the world like that.
For it is Adèle Exarchopoulos and Léa Seydoux who have made the perfect film.
Real blood and real tears.
Cinema demands it.
From under the shadows of Godard, Kechiche.
Don’t let it scare you away.
Persevere!
Because this film was wholly deserving of the Palme d’Or.
It’s not a lesbian love story.
It’s not even really a love story.
It’s loss.
Walking away.
Lonely like Anna Karina or Louise Brooks.
Heels clicking pavement.
She couldn’t get close to anybody.
And when she finally does?
It’s devastating.
Devastatingly beautiful.
But devastating.
So many tears in this orgy of Frenchness.
Like Verlaine and Rimbaud.
“You’re gonna make me lonesome when you go”
I’ve seen one actress do it (Anamaria Marinca).
But I’ve never seen two actresses do it.
Together. Like Ginsberg and Corso.
Perhaps.
Ouroboros.
Really, it’s just Exarchopoulos.
I could say the name a million times.
Thank you.
Typically French.
Untypically thorough.
Kechiche.
Tunisia.
France.
Greece.
There’s joy in those tears.
Because acting doesn’t permit this.
Cinema doesn’t permit this.
It’s not The Brown Bunny blue.
Blue is the coldest color.
Timing.
Pacing.
Nothing.
And beingness.
What?
Exarchopoulos. Exarchopoulos. Exarchopoulos.
And [poof!] she appears 🙂
Teach me something I don’t know.
The birth of the world.
The middle movement Mozart clarinet concerto like Breathless.
I’m too tired and my French isn’t good.
I’m literally at the end of breath.
But don’t go…
Stay a moment longer.
And linger.
Stay with me with the damned.
What can I offer them?
When my troubles have been so mundane.
No.
Love vastly, hurt immensely.
Learn the real life.
Of Arabic and real estate and dreams destroyed.
I will never be a movie star.
God damn it.
We just want our spark in a bottle to be found.
Our quark. Her quirk.
Hair all down in her face.
Don’t get me started…
It’s not the Bond girl who fascinates.
It’s the girl of the winding arcades…
Straight and narrow.
Zaftig. Not the svelte punk.
Lots of spaghetti like Gummo and a chocolate bar through the tears.
My God…
What did I just witness?
Sex is the least important aspect of this film.
Titillation misses the point.
It’s that connection that she so dearly wanted.
This is the loneliest job.
-PD
paulydeathwish 