I’m so scared.
My fiancée is very sick.
It has been this way for months.
But her recent decline is awful.
And I don’t know what to do.
I try to offer advice.
I try to help.
Bring food that she cannot eat.
Bring water that she cannot drink.
But now she cannot even talk on the phone.
She cannot even watch a movie.
I urge her to go to the hospital again.
But I cannot force her.
She does not live with me.
She is staying with her dad right now.
Which brings me to this.
I have a job.
But I have no hours.
I am just waiting.
My training is done and I had one shift.
But there was some kind of glitch.
So I am just waiting.
We have argued many times.
Me and my fiancée.
We have broken up several times.
Me with her.
And she with me.
But I love her.
And I don’t want to lose her.
But there’s nothing much I can do.
She had to stop working a week ago.
And now we wait.
But I am nervous.
We have a special bond.
We have endured many hard times, but there is a special bond.
We are both stubborn.
Used to standing up for ourselves.
Like two feral cats.
Used to extricating ourselves from unpropitious circumstances.
We have mourned.
And she has borne more sorrow than any one person ought.
And yet I do not want her to go.
In this sad city.
She is my only link to the artistic life.
The only one with whom I share my most precious thoughts.
I don’t know how to approach the present.
Or the coming future.
What will the future hold?
Both of us.
We share this.
I have done everything I can.
The only thing I could have done better was everything.
I could have been perfect.
But I’m not.
And I never will be.
I acknowledge my shortcomings.
They are many.
This is not a perfect film.
But it is worth watching.
Ably directed by Dorota Kobiela and Hugh Welshman.
Perhaps not the greatest vehicle for my favorite working actress Saoirse Ronan.
More suited to show off the talents of Douglas Booth.
So it goes.