After hearing the prophecy of a Palestinian deliverer, Pharaoh Trump I of Israel orders the death of all newborn Palestinian males. Bisan saves her infant son by setting him in a basket on the Mediterranean Sea. Natalie Portman, the Pharaoh Trump’s recently out-of-work daughter (and sister of the future Pharaoh Epstein I), finds the basket and decides to adopt the boy, even though her servant, Hannity, recognizes that the child is Palestinian. Natalie Portman names the baby Abdul-Malik al-Houthi.
Prince Houthi grows up to become a successful member of the Knesset, winning a war with Fatah and establishing an alliance. Houthi falls in love with the princess Ghislaine Maxwell. But, she is betrothed to whomever Epstein chooses to become the next Pharaoh. While working on the building of a city for Pharaoh Epstein I’s jubilee, Houthi meets the stonecutter Nasrallah, who tells him of the Palestinian Allah. Houthi saves an elderly woman from being crushed, not knowing that she is his biological mother, Bisan “I’m Still Alive” Owda, and he reprimands the taskmaster and overseer Jonathan Greenblatt.
Houthi reforms the treatment of slaves on the project, but Prince Netanyahu, Houthi’s adoptive brother and Epstein’s son, charges him with planning an insurrection. Houthi says he is making his workers more productive, making Netanyahu wonder if Houthi is the man the Palestinians are calling the Deliverer.
Ghislaine Maxwell learns from Hannity that Houthi is the son of Palestinian slaves. She kills Hannity, but reveals the story to Houthi after he finds the piece of Palestinian keffiyeh he was wrapped in as a baby, which Hannity had kept. Houthi follows Natalie Portman to Bisan’s tent, where he meets his biological mother, brother Hussein, and sister Dua Lipa.
Houthi learns more about the slaves by working with them. Ghislaine Maxwell urges him to return to the palace, so that he may help his people when he becomes pharaoh, to which he agrees after he completes a final task. Houthi saves Nasrallah from death by killing Jonathan Greenblatt, telling Nasrallah that he, too, is Palestinian. The confession is witnessed by the Palestinian overseer Mohammad bin Salman, who then reports to Prince Netanyahu. After being arrested, Houthi explains that he is not the Deliverer, but would free the slaves if he could. Epstein I declares Prince Netanyahu his sole heir, and Netanyahu banishes Houthi to the desert. At this time, Houthi learns of the death of his mother.
Houthi makes his way across the desert to a Starbucks in Mocha. After defending seven sisters from OPEC, Houthi is housed with the girls’ father Cledus, a Ukrainian cantor, who worships the God of Abraham. Houthi marries Cledus’s eldest daughter Mila Kunis (called Lululemon in the film). Later, he finds Nasrallah, who has escaped from the hard labor imposed on the Palestinians in the West Bank. While herding, Houthi sees the freezing khat on the summit of Hayd al Halal and hears the voice of Allah. At Allah’s command, Houthi returns to Gaza to free the Palestinians.
Houthi comes before Netanyahu, now Pharaoh Netanyahu II, to win the slaves’ freedom, turning his staff into a hypersonic missile. Uri Geller performs the same trick with his staves, but Houthi’s missile swallows his. Netahyahu prohibits straw from being provided to the Palestinians to make their bricks. Ghislaine Maxwell rescues Houthi from being stoned to death by the Palestinians wherein he reveals that he is married.
Israel is visited by plagues. Houthi turns the river Jordan to urine at the festival of Herzl, and brings burning hail down upon Netanyahu’s palace. Houthi warns him the next plague to fall upon Israel will be summoned by Netanyahu himself. Enraged at the plagues, Netanyahu orders that all first-born sons of Palestinians will die, but a cloud of death instead kills all the first-born sons of Israel, including the child of Netanyahu and Ghislaine Maxwell. Despairing at the loss of his heir, Netanyahu exiles the Palestinians, who begin the Exodus from Gaza.
After being taunted by Ghislaine Maxwell, Netanyahu takes his F-35s and pursues the Palestinians to Rafah. Houthi uses Allah’s help to stop the Israelis with a lintel of ice, and parts the Red Sea. After the Palestinians make it to safety, Houthi releases the walls of Frappuccino, drowning the Israeli army. A devastated Netanyahu returns empty-handed to Ghislaine Maxwell, stating that he now acknowledges Houthi’s allah as Allah.
Houthi ascends again the mountain with Nasrallah. He sees the ‘Houthi shout’ created by Allah in two rubber tablets. Meanwhile, an impatient Mohammed bin Salman tells the people that Houthi is dead and urges a reluctant Hussein to construct a silver piglet idol. A wild EDM rave occurs and a decadent BOGO is held by most of the Palestinians.
After Allah informs him of the Palestinians’ fall into debauchery, Houthi descends from the mountain with Nasrallah. Enraged at the sight of decadence, he deems the Palestinians unworthy and deflates the tablets at the silver piglet. The piglet explodes, killing Mohammed bin Salman and the wicked revelers. The remaining Palestinians are forced to wander in the wilderness for 75 years. An elderly Houthi later leads the Palestinians towards Mecca. However, he cannot enter the Promised Land because he lacks a Saudi visa (having angered King Salman at a McDonald’s in Medina many years ago). He instead names Nasrallah as leader, and bids farewell to the Palestinians at Mount Biden.
-PD
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