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James Bond vs. Jacques Clouseau

This will be, God willing, a very long piece of film criticism.

Which retains only the smallest, tenuous grasp on cinema whatsoever.

Because we are living in interesting times.

And we must PROJECT forwards.

Like a motion picture.

From the back of the hall.

This will have little to do with James Bond.

And perhaps even less to do with Jacques Clouseau.

It will primarily involve President Donald Trump (may he be praised).

And Jim Comey.

& Gregg Popovich.

Let’s attempt a start…

Is Donald Trump more like James Bond or Jacques Clouseau?

[And Geraldo Rivera.

And Twitter.]

In many ways, it would seem an easy choice.


A man of class.

A man in a dark-blue blazer.

A business type.

A man who probably owns several sets of cufflinks (and the shirts to match).

A man who probably has his preferred barber (not unlike Chaplin in The Great Dictator).

So we seem to be veering towards Bond.


High finance.



But part of Trump can be taken as Jacques Clouseau.

And this may be my favorite aspect of the President.

Contrary to Geraldo Rivera’s opinion (which so many seem to share), Donald Trump DOES NOT need a “Twitter editor”.

And Sean Hannity has thoroughly worn out the “tinfoil hat conspiracy” meme.

Calling the Left conspiracy theorists is about as lazy as it gets.

I know Sean is frustrated.

So am I.

But we can destroy the Left (the duplicitous, vampire Left) with much better weapons.

Donald Trump must never change his Jacques Clouseau inclinations.

He is the Shakespeare of Twitter.

The Basho of this medium.

140 characters.

No person, living or dead, has used this means of communication to such effect.

He has roused!

He has enraged!

And he does it effortlessly.

Because he was born to communicate.

The pithy zinger is more radioactive than any nuke he could ever deploy.

And we love Trump.

[me and a few other people]

Because he misspells stuff.


“tapp [sic] my phones”

Fuck it!

Trump does not say oops.

He doesn’t delete a Tweet to correct one fucking letter.

He leaves it.

Like a sloppy Machiavelli.

And he is so much more the polymath for it.

So I would offer Mr. Trump the opposite advice.

Fox News, God bless them, need to take their heads out of their asses.

Trump is the last person on Earth who should even entertain an idea like “messaging discipline”.

Fuck that!

That’s like telling Beethoven:

“Hey Ludwig.  Symphony 3 was a little long.  And Symphony 5…you can’t use trombones.  And what’s this programmatic shit in Symphony 6?  Oh, and Symphony 5…also, you can’t start with a rest.  And Symphony 9 is, again, WAY TOO LONG.”

Yes, that music critic or “friend” of the late composer should have been summarily executed.

Because Ludwig van Beethoven was all personality.

Exceptional skill.

But above all, balls!

[I’d really like to check out Third Wave feminism, but I haven’t seen waves One and Two yet.]

Even 20 years ago, I was being subjected to academic propaganda.

I needed to learn to appreciate “feminist music criticism”.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Let me give you an idea of how feminist music criticism approaches Beethoven.

First of all, he was a straight man.  Strike one.

Had he been in any way effeminate (like Chopin), he would have gotten a pass.

Next, feminist music criticism manages to equate Beethovenian cadences (harmonic resolutions) with male orgasm.

Isn’t that great?

As Stravinsky said (and I paraphrase), “They are just notes on a page.”

So with the exception of Beethoven’s 6th Symphony, the listener is never told (nor guided) how to experience the music.

Yes, the sonata-allegro from does have a psychological element.

It is, to be fair, a musical trick.

The second theme (not in the key of the work) will eventually be transposed into the key of the work…at the end…at the recapitulation…to give a satisfying feeling of finality.

Beethoven did not invent that.

Far from it.

But let’s get back to Trump.

Trump is certainly a dick.

An asshole.

But he’s OUR asshole.


[something like that]

Which brings us to a pizzagate (pedogate) update.

I’ll be quite blunt.

Apparently Jim Comey likes to fuck little boys who are dressed as Howdy Doody.

Sound farfetched?

Did J. Edgar wear a dress?

[Does the Pope wear a funny hat?]

I’m gonna say.

The Howdy Doody thing is FAR-OUT.

But anything is fucking possible these days.

The Russians must like me.

Google finds me as “Последни туитове на”.


Indeed, I have been completely removed from Google searches (my Twitter account) except in Russian.

Actually, I stand corrected.

I must be huge in Bulgaria 🙂

Bulging, as it were…

Ok, well…that’s a little disconcerting.

But we’ll press on.

I have been made invisible on Google.

I must have been labeled “fake news”.

And so I don’t exist.

Only traces of me remain.

A sort of outline of a persona.

So I guess the American government is ashamed of me.

Or Google is ashamed of me.

So I have been curtailed.

But I press on.

Here is the video of Comey and Howdy Doody (well, not THE video):

I don’t know if I buy it.

I’ve never heard of the source.

David Zublick.

Well-spoken guy.

Seems to be broadcasting from his home (a 1970s suburban job).

Very articulate, methodical presentation.

About 20 minutes long.

I will say this:  it’s plausible.

It’s possible.

I have my reasons to doubt Comey’s Howdy Doody fetish, but I also have reason to believe it.

Which brings up a very important question:

“What the fuck does any of this have to do with anything?”

Well, I’m glad you asked.

As you may or may not know, James Comey was fired from his job as head of the FBI last week by Donald Trump.

May 9th.

Six days ago.


If you believe the Democrat tripe, Russia “hacked” our election.  Trump “colluded” with the Russians.  Russia “interfered” in our elections.

This little drama plays out like Pirandello’s Six Characters in Search of an Author.

Except in the case of the Democrats, it’s Six Plots in Need of an Authorial Decision.

Give the Democrats credit.

If their “novel” or “drama” is supposed to be pure chaos (like Pynchon’s wildest moments…or Finnegans Wake), then they have succeeded.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t appear that their magnum opus of bullshit is really “reaching” the people.

It is piped through every channel imaginable, but the people aren’t ready to receive such a concocted amalgam of poppycock.

And so I give Jim Comey the benefit of the doubt.

For now.

Guilty until…excuse me, innocent until proven guilty.

THERE we go.

Because there is one inconvenient detail about the Comey story.

One unfortunate (perhaps made-up) aspect of the pizzagate epic.

Donald Trump did (in some capacity) know Jeffrey Epstein.

There are some commentators (like Wayne Madsen) who claim that Trump himself is a child rapist.

This would be the Epstein “Wexner mansion” story.

Ostensibly to have occurred in 1994.

Link here.

I don’t know, but to me…the story sounds made up.

[“And you believe the Howdy Doody yarn?”]

It’s a little too perfect.

The suit brought by “Katie Johnson” on April 26 of last year.

“Johnson”, who claims that Trump raped her when she was 13, cancelled her press conference (at which she was to reveal her true identity) on November 4 of last year:  THREE DAYS BEFORE THE ELECTION!

[She then also dropped the case.  Hmmm…  Perhaps the most telling aspect of her stunt.  Had there been any truth to what she was saying, couldn’t the well-oiled Democrat shitshow propagandize and leverage her tale?  No one is as nasty and vile as the “tolerant, peace-loving” Democrats.  No.  I don’t buy it.  Her story stinks.]

I personally believe Ms. “Johnson’s” story to have been a political hoax…to smear Trump.

But it didn’t work.

And the “grab ’em by the pussy” tape didn’t work either.

[Hillary can thank husband Bill for lowering the standards of the Presidency such that the winner could utter that phrase and still get elected]

Plain and simple, I think America saw through the coordinated attacks on Donald Trump.

James O’Keefe exposed some of these attacks with his Project Veritas.

Once we learned of the “bird-dogging” in Chicago, all bets were off.

This is the same tactic which has been used AGAINST liberal protestors (such as at the G8 Summit in Genoa, Italy [summer of 2001]).

Using paid provocateurs, the Democratic Party (through several layers of surrogates) appears to have incited violence at Trump’s Chicago rally (and elsewhere) during the campaign.

And so the Democrats want to talk about the “timing” of Comey’s firing.

Blah blah blah…”timing…timing…timing”.

But it is possible that Jim Comey was unable to do the right thing in regards to Hillary Clinton because he himself was compromised.

And it is always possible that the President himself is compromised.

But I don’t think so.

Anyway…there is the fair story.

You can make up your mind.

If you can unravel the sweater, then you win the Trump-bashing, piñata prize.

But if you stick to Alinsky (as purely instructive), it appears the liberal pedophiles in the United States have gotten caught with their hand in the criminal cookie jar…and are pointing the finger at their younger brother:

the upstart who is innocent of their crimes

–>  Donald Trump.


One response to “James Bond vs. Jacques Clouseau

  1. This is a really great post, Paul, and very funny too. I think Trump thrives on creating chaos and being unpredictable.

    I like Newt Gingrich’s quote about Trump: “He’s on permanent offense. He gets up in the morning figuring out, how am I going to stay on offense? He understands that the media has to chase rabbits, so he gives them rabbits to chase, because if he doesn’t give them rabbits to chase, they’ll invent a rabbit.”

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