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Tableau I

When in the course of life we run around,

upon merciless jags of rock,

and all our nautical efforts come to naught,

we have a new island to ponder.

And if on a pleasant day,

we can see the lay of the land

and skittishly face the inhabitants

like cats.

We can hide beneath masks.

When the transactions become more difficult

and we must switch course

preferring possible life to certain death.

We float on levels of truth.

And most important is health.

Our work lives.  Our capacity.

But our happiness.

Our frame of mind.

That I have not watched a single thing for days.

And, as such, invented a rather sprawling form to say,

“Hey!  How are you?  I hope you are well :)”

To my few readers, I wanted to say I’m still alive.

And thankful for you all.

But for myself I needed to partake in this transparent diary.

The most humble narcissism.

Please, if you will just lend me your ears a moment.

And a simple “like” from around the world lets me know that

all is well with the heavens.

This first tableau, chiefly a prayer.

To forgive enemies.

And to forgive self.

A way to slough off the skin like a snake

and watch it roll down the river as a phantom coil.

The film is always just an excuse to write.

And the writing just an excuse to watch a film.

But I indulge in the confessional track of John Berryman and the rest.

And so many days without the therapy of writing becomes

a disjointed feeling.

Have I said anything at all here?

Now that I have no film back to which to refer.

I am not thinking very straight.

Because I wanted to go to bed.

But I couldn’t.

And so it is medicinally late.

Not the ballet of yore.

But a rather wavy sensation.

Buffeting my bark along.

Rowing through others’ Dream Songs.

And me with my tableaux.

Gotta start someplace.

But I must reiterate.

A hearty thanks to my few readers.

Ye who have stuck by me through all of my many

chameleonic changes.

Ye who have humored me as I have delineated interminable conspiracy theories.

It is to you band of brothers and sisters that I wish to give hearty thanks!

And to my enemies.

Though they may be phantoms.


That I pray for you tonight.

I pray for you as brothers and uncles and sisters.

I pray for your happiness.

I do not pray for your destruction.

I am but a lowly runt on a road which runs out no-one knows when.

But daily I study logic.

And math.

And the two meet.

The twain.  Are one in the same.

Obverse and reverse.

[and “perverse”, as Sterling recited on the VU’s “Murder Mystery”]

It’s alright.

To be wrong.

It’s not a crime.

It’s a tort.

But it’s not good.

Such that we should comport ourselves with the judiciousness of proof burdens.

And with good deduction (Reductio ad absurdum) take the man’s word for it.

Our hinge, however, is that we do not completely trust law enforcement to nab

such elite criminals.

But we know much more than what we’ve written.

Find out who Dennis Hastert’s “roommate” was in Japan.

Ponder Jerry Sandusky.

And Jimmy Savile.

Search terms “uk child pedophile ring” or “child pedophile ring”.

I’m a Yank…I don’t know Jimmy Savile!

But I needed the name.

And just a few page results brought me back to the sickening situation as it stands.

Hastert’s 15-month sentence ends this fall.

He was, you remember, the Speaker of the House from 1999-2007.

His jail time is for the sexual abuse of boys.

And, by the way, his “fellow traveller” in Japan was none other than Tony Podesta (!)

Sandusky has (theoretically) 30-60 years of prison ahead of him.

Savile is dead.

But these rabbit holes go on and on.

They seem like rabbit holes.

For really big rabbits.

And then you climb in and find some kind of Knights Templars chapel.

“Strange Things Happenin’ Every Day” sang “Sister” Rosetta Tharpe.

I pray safety for all my readers.

And I pray for law enforcement who are bound by oath to wade through this disgusting carnage.

The only thing we have is each other.

When times are this bad.

And so I send out good wishes to all souls who find this.

And may our next occasion be more cheery and carefree.



2 responses to “Tableau I

  1. Paul S

    I hope you’re feeling better tonight. You take it easy brother!

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